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I was so tired of needing help. I leaned back on the pillow, trying not to pout and doing a shitty job of it. “Well, good luck with that because there isn’t a thing you can do for me, Ryker. Not one thing. Cruise can’t either, except maybe what he does with his money. Nathan has angel blood, so I suppose he could do something…and I can at least do exorcisms.” I laughed. “But what can you do, Ryker? You’renothing.”
He shook his head. “It’s okay. This isn’t you. It’s the demon. What I can do for you, Addalee? I can love you and I can learn how to help you fight these things.” When he would have touched me, I shook my head, and he stopped, backing away with a sigh.
The door opened and Danvers entered, nodding to Ryker. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Where have you been? It’s not like you have a job.” I wanted to bite my tongue, but she really liked pushing at my friends. She might have been playing nice before, but now she apparently wanted to assault them verbally.
Danvers shook his head. “Cruise let me crash at his house. I am depleted, or that’s how they put it. I needed rest. Ryker gotme a job at his cousin’s bar, so long as I don’t kill anyone.” He sat down in a chair across the room.
I winced. It sounded like Ryker, so I wasn’t surprised, but I wasn’t going to tell him that so long as my demon was in charge. Instead, I started to scream. I tilted my head back and bellowed, fully committing to making the loudest, biggest sound I could, even if I scraped my throat raw.
But no one could hear me. People were still talking. I even answered them—probably saying something awful—while I screamed. Alone. With only the sound of my demon laughing in my ears as I screamed till my voice vanished.
Nathan rushed through the door followed by a man I didn’t know. Cruise entered behind them. Nathan put his hand on my arm, again causing the awful staticky pain sensation. Why didn’t they understand I didn’t like to be touched?
“Stop screaming,” Nathan said, his voice resonating in my head. “You’re going to hurt yourself. Please stop. I can hear you. I can’t hear what you’re thinking, not exactly, but I can hear your scream. I can hear you cry. Stop hurting yourself. You work on surviving.”
I swallowed, tears pricking behind my eyes. He could hear me? It was such a relief. Someone knew that I was screaming. I didn’t know why it was such a fucking gift. He took my hand and squeezed it. “Addalee, this is Ben. He’s like us.”
Like us?Oh, the angel blood. I could finally hear them again. She stopped laughing. Maybe she wanted to hear what Ben had to say, too. Why was he there?
He pulled up a chair next to the bed. “I understand you’re rather unusual.”
I snickered. Both the demon and I found the idea amusing, and then I realized tears streamed down my cheeks. I touched them with my fingertips, noticing the way the liquid glittered in the light.
“You pulled out this man’s demon while you still have yours,” he said, and I noticed he still stared at me. “How did you do that?”
I opened my mouth, but I couldn’t talk. She wouldn’t let me.
“She said she could feel two entities in me—the demon and me. Then she reached for my skin, palmed me right there.” He pointed over his heart. “And she just pulled.”
Ben, Nathan’s friend, nodded. “That is so interesting. Okay. And the demon doesn’t want you to talk about it? I’m wondering how you pulled this off with the demon in control of what you’re doing.” He sighed. “Rather remarkable.”
“I had herbs going,” Cruise supplied just as the doctor entered to check the machines. “And an IV in her arm supplied her with a light sedative. She was in control, not the demon.”
The doctor threw his chart on the counter. “There is no reason whatsoever to do that. The demons build a tolerance for it. She has to get it out of herself. Period. End of story. Otherwise, it’s going to kill her.”
Cruise shook his head. “I disagree. Ben and I have had the same training. Nathan has had some of it, too. She has to have breaks. We could’ve saved my sister and countless others if we’d just given them the time to get their strength back up. Otherwise, she’s too tired from fighting it and she doesn’t have the strength to go on. That’s why most exorcisms fail. We know this.”
The doctor pointed at him. “That is not fair to say to me. I’ve been through it, too. I know what you’re going through, and I know what it is like to lose people you love to demons. Despite that, you don’t want to use the drugs. When they stop working, they’re just going to make her sick faster.”
I considered Ben, with his gray hair and lined face. I asked him simply, with a glance down at his dirty old wedding band,“Did your wife know she was fucking an angel blooded freak when she said yes?”
I hated the things I said. I started to scream again, but Nathan squeezed my hand. Yes, I needed to stop. “No one in this room thinks you’re saying anything like that yourself. We all know it’s her.”
I pointed at Ryker. “Not him. He knows I’m really a bad person.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “When she gets out of you, I’m going to celebrate. It will be the best day of my life.”
“Hold your breath, you pathetic creature. It’ll never happen, and you’ll drop dead first. You’re going to be with her, too. I’m just waiting to suggest you to the right demon.”
Nathan squeezed my hand. “Don’t start screaming. She’s making herself sick in there. Reminds me of someone else who was on the edge just days ago.” He looked over and stared at Danvers who rose.
“I think we should get her out of here. It’s hurting her to be here. The trick is to keep the demon as happy as the demon can be…within reason. You threatened her, and she’s complying because she doesn’t want what you told her could happen, Cruise.”
That was right. What did he threaten, I wondered? I didn’t even know.
“So she’s taking it out on Addalee, who could use a break from the abuse. If her demon can be…mollified, then perhaps Addalee could get a little better. If she’s less exhausted, she can be a little more on the surface of her consciousness. It’s very painful to be stuck where she is listening to herself say and do things against her will.”
