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“I guess what I don’t understand,” Ryker said, shifting his backpack as he shook his head, “is why you believe her. ”
I sighed. “She’s our English teacher. She has studied the stuff. Presumably, she knows what she’s talking about when she says I have no knack for English lit. She put in a recommendation for me to be transferred to the program for the kids without futures.”
Ryker stopped walking and turned to face me. “You know what I’m looking forward to, Addalee?”
His abrupt topic change threw off the memory version of me, making me stumble. “No. What?”
“The day when you know yourself well enough to let their lies roll off your back. Like…I kind of know myself that well already. If she said, Ryker, you’re an idiot at English, I would say, yeah…okay, but I can fix your car. I can also understand chemistry better than you can, you evil old bitch.”
I laughed, covering my mouth. I loved when he was like this. Love…Didn’t he love me just a little bit? Could I ever ask him that?
Instead of asking, I fiddled with the strap on my backpack. “I always thought I was good at English. I understand it, at least. I love to read.”
He shrugged. “Then don’t believe her. You know you. Don’t let someone else tell you what is true about you, Addalee.”
I blinked and stared at my demon. She was terrifying, there was no doubt, but if she could have killed me, or if that was her goal, she would have already. So she didn’t want me dead, not really. I got to my feet. Okay, we were in some space in my head. Which meant it wasmyfrickin’ head.
She didn’t get to tell me what I did and didn’t get to do in my own head anymore. I got to my feet. It wasn’t like she could hurtme, not more than she already had. Really, if she did manage to hurt me more, she’d kill me, and then she would have to move to another body anyway.
My hands tingled like when I’d exorcised the other demons. Was it possible? Could I just get rid of her?
If it were possible, I wondered if it could be like the rules in other dreams. Could I make things, simply by willing them into being?
A shield,I thought.
A chair appeared before me.Really?My brain conjured a chair and not something I could even use as a shield? I sighed and decided I would use whatever I created, and I wouldn’t complain.At least it didn’t give me a bunny rabbit or something.
I held on to the chair tightly and shoved it in front of me. I wanted a shield, so I would use the chair as if it were a shield. The demon rolled her eyes at me. “You think that you can beat me with that? A chair? You’re kidding yourself.”
“Not with the chair. No.” But it would block her for half a second if I were lucky. I used to be bullied. When I was really young, after I left my cousins and before I met Ryker, some girls really came after me. I learned early on how to throw a punch, but could I punch a demon?
I imagined that my hand was sharp, each knuckle coming to a bladed edge. I glanced down at my hand, hoping it would be magically transformed, and saw my fingers. Shaking my hand, I closed my eyes and tried again. Why couldn’t my mind actually cooperate with me? When I opened my eyes again, I held a knife—one she could easily take from me, but at least a knife.
“You didn’t expect this from me. All of these months in my head, and you thought I wouldn’t defend myself,” I practically snarled at her. “Let’s see how you like this in your stomach.”
She flapped her wings, the gust from them lifting my hair like a hurricane. “I’ve been thinking about this a great deal, Addalee. I don’t think I need to do this with you to hurt you. I think that I have a much better way to cause you pain, one that will get me what I need better, or even easier, than by possessing you.”
I blinked. “What?”
“I’ll see you soon, sweetie.”
Just like that, I found myself back on my knees, staring at the room around me. Everyone shouted—Cruise and Ryker were supposed to be separated for their own safety, weren’t they? I stared down at myself, at my hands in my lap. Why were they there? Blood stained my fingers, and when I caught my reflection in the glass, my cheeks, too.What happened?
A surge of energy bolted through me, and the fire of it sent me screaming backward. Pain like I never before experienced assaulted my body, throwing me down to the floor on my back. I stared up, screaming as my demon flew to the ceiling above me.
“Fuck!” someone yelled. I thought it was Nathan, but I couldn’t look away from my demon to be sure.
“I didn’t do this. I didn’t get her out.” I tried to talk, but my throat hurt. “She’s just…”
Her words came back to me as if on replay. She wanted to hurt me. She wanted me to obey. I blinked rapidly as the room blurred and then refocused my gaze. I wanted to talk, wanted to cry out. What the fuck were Cruise and Ryker doing in there? Oh, she was brilliant. If there was a surefire way to get them in the room and within her reach, it was by making me get hurt badly enough that I bled.
I couldn’t look around, but I would bet Nathan and Danvers weren’t okay. My friends would have rushed in to help.
Hands came around me and Danvers, who sported a fresh black eye that might be from my fist, pulled me against him.
“No,” I managed to say.
“Ssh. It’s hard when they leave. It hurts. I know. Just relax, you’re safe now.”
