AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Good.” She touched my shoulder affectionately and smiled broadly, stalking away towards the kitchen. When she had gone, I took up my phone and sent the necessary message. As I punched out, the reply came.I’m not doing anything. Where do you want to meet?
I replied that I never went out and wouldn’t know what to suggest and after I’d pulled on my layers of sweaters, I made my way out, receiving the reply as I started down the Baltimore street away from the supper club.There’s a place on the corner of 18thand Richter.
I took the next right and swallowed hard, steeling myself for what was to be an awkward and complicated meeting.
----
“Well then, what the hell are you doing here?” Liz snapped, taking an angry swig of whisky.
I frowned and shook my head in puzzlement. “What do you mean, ‘what the hell am I doing here’? I don’t know what the hell I’m doing and I guessed that A), you’ve been in more relationships than I have and hold valuable advice and B), you’d be a good friend.”
Liz rolled her eyes. “Damn straight, I’ve been in more relationships than you and I’m a wonderful friend if you’d just tell me what’s really going on in your head, Poe. Frost is a ridiculously attractive man.” She raised a hand in exasperation. “For God’s sake, they just don’t make ‘em that way anymore. And a guy that gorgeousneverhas a decent personality. It’s like a law of nature. But not Frost. He’s sweet and thoughtful and he sticks his neck out for you every chance he gets and he dotes on you like something out of a Jane Austen novel. As you say, I’ve been in a few relationships before. I recognize the way he looked at you on Monday night and believe me, Poe, a look like that on a face like that is priceless.”
I rolled my eyes and toyed with my water glass. She slapped her palm down on the bar beside the glass, causing me to jump. “And for God’s sake stop being all mopey! Drink something, you’re making me feel like a lush!”
I glared at her half-heartedly. “I don’t drink. You already know why; it’s in my file. So quit pushing your luck.”
She narrowed her eyes. “Don’t talk to me like that. You called me on Monday with your mess and you texted me with this pile of shit too.”
“Fine, I’m sorry,” I said dryly. “Now tell me in your professional opinion, your relationship guru opinion and your personal opinion separately what you think.”
Liz grimaced and studied her hands for a minute pensively, finally answering, “Fine. In my personal opinion, I think you need to get over to his apartment right now and make sweet love to the poor guy.” I snorted and rolled my eyes. Liz scoffed, “Yeah, I know you won’t, but if I had a guy like that chasing me, that’s what I’d do. In my guru opinion, I think you need to apologize for dragging him along like this and beg him to keep a shorter leash on you so this doesn’t happen again. And to make up for the hell you’ve put him through, make sweet love to him.”
I dipped my fingertips in my water and flicked droplets at her. She grimaced and brushed the water out of her hair. “So mature. And in my professional opinion….” She met my gaze levelly and studied me for a moment, finally finishing, “I think you need to tell him why you’re doing this to him and give him a chance to help you. Getting past this does not include a lifetime of miserable solitude.”
I looked down into my glass, feeling suddenly very old and very tired, as if I was Atlas struggling to carry the world. “I know, but Liz…getting past it involves facing it and looking at it far too closely. And I wonder if I’d rather go on alone than go through it all again.”
She touched my hand sympathetically and I met her flint-black eyes. “What would you do in my place?” I asked.
Liz bit her cherry-red lip and shook her head. “I….” She grimaced. “I don’t know, Poe. But what I do know is that if you ever want to move on, another Frost will not come along. I think you need to try to make this work.”
I shook my head and covered my eyes with one hand. “It’s only hurting him…”
“Not,” she interrupted, “If he manages to fix you.”
“I don’t need some white knight to come riding in to rescue me,” I said wearily, any bite that could’ve come with the words dying in my exhaustion. “I need to regain control.”
She groaned. “I admire your independence, but if it hasn’t done you any good for the last seven years, then what’s the point?”
----
I pressed the button for his apartment again and bit my lip, staring down at my no-slip shoes awkwardly. I was going to be late for work and Janie would kill me. I should have told him I was going to stop by. He was probably out with some other girl right now or at least with Justin looking for some other girl. I was being a fool, I was wasting my time, I hoped he wouldn’t answer, I desperately needed him to…my mind was like a kaleidoscope of contradicting thoughts.
All at once, the front door swung open beside me and Frost stood there, his brow creased in confusion. “Poe?” My heart skipped a beat and I tried to control my racing breath. I gritted my teeth and looked down again, avoiding his piercing gaze. “Jeez, you scared me,” I said, panicking. All the words I had been turning over in my head had vanished completely and I wished I could freeze time and rethink what I was going to say.
Frost shifted on his feet and let the door fall shut. I recognized a bulge beneath his leather jacket that looked suspiciously like a gun and nodded to it. “You got called somewhere?”
“Yeah…” he hesitated, struggling for words as well. “Yeah, window jumper on 2nd. I figured I’d catch whoever was ringing on my way out.”
I swallowed hard, only to find my throat dry. That was supposed to be my cue. I was supposed to say something. The words were gone, though, and I couldn’t seem to chase them back. “Um…I…shoot.” I tightened my eyes and tipped my head back to look up at the grey sky, wishing someone would write the words there in the clouds for me. It appeared about to rain and I hoped it would, though, being December now, it would be ice-cold, like his eyes. The rain hid everything and was painfully sympathetic. Finally, I sighed and said, “Sorry. You need to get going. Go ahead, body’s waiting.”
Frost shrugged and said darkly, “She’s already dead. She can wait. What did you come here for, Poe?”
I finally met his ice-blue eyes and felt my stomach turn over when I did. Why couldn’t this be easier? “I’m sorry I’ve kept you at arm’s length the past few days. I wish I hadn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
I sighed and bit the inside of my cheek. “I mean that you deserve better than the way I’ve treated you.”
