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Becca crossed the room and sat on one side of me while Daisy Lynn walked over to my other side. Becca gave me a half-hug and told me what I already knew. “If you really feel that way—if you really want more than just something physical—you need to tell them.”
“She’s right,” Daisy Lynn said. “You deserve to have everything you want, Janessa. And if they’re the kind of guys who would leave you for speaking up like that, are they even worth having?”
“They’re worth having,” I said without hesitating. “But… yeah. You’re both right. I should talk to them.”
I just didn’t know when.
Or how.
Chapter 19
Boone
I wasn’t trying to listen. I didn’t mean to overhear their conversation.
I’d just gone upstairs to check on Janessa, and I’d heard… well, I’d heard enough for my stomach to turn over and tie itself into a knot.
By the time I made it back to the bunkhouse, I thought I might actually throw up. My nerves were on edge, and I didn’t know what to do.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Cade asked, a worried look on his face as he stood up from the bed where he’d been sprawled out napping. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“I was up at the house just now,” I said, jerking my thumb in that direction. “And I, uh… I just went there to make sure Janessa was okay, you know? I mean, I know we just dropped her off a little while ago, but—” I stopped and shook my head. Get it together. “Anyway, she was in her room with her friends. I could hear them talking before I even made it to the door.”
“And?” Cade smirked. “A little girl talk scared you off? Or did you actually stand there and listen?”
“I wasn’t listening,” I said, even though that was technically what I’d been doing. “I just… they were talking about us.”
Cade’s eyebrows shot up, but his smile only grew wider. “She was telling them about how good we were?” He nodded. “I could tell she loved every minute of it. Fuck, she’s hot.”
“You’re an idiot,” I said, nearly laughing at him in spite of the fact that every single one of my nerves was on edge. “And no, that wasn’t what she was saying.”
“Well, she couldn’t have been saying it was bad.” He shook his head. “That’s just not possible. She couldn’t have been faking all those noises.”
“I know it’s a lot to ask, but if we could talk about something besides your dick for a second? Please?” I spoke the next words slowly and clearly so I could make sure they got through to his sex-crazed brain. “She told them she wants a relationship. With us. Both of us. All three of us. Together.”
“Got it, thanks…” He was looking at me like I was the idiot. “Is that what’s got you so worked up?”
It was almost like we were speaking two different languages, and the way he was acting like it was no big deal? Not gonna lie, it was starting to piss me off.
“You don’t have any thoughts about that at all?” I asked, still sort of hoping that he’d realize the importance of what she’d said before I had to spell it out for him. “I think she’s falling in love, Cade.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right.” He shrugged. “But I feel the same way about her, so… I guess I just don’t see what the problem is?”
I had to remind myself to breathe.
And count to ten.
And breathe.
Of course he thought he was in love, too. But I knew from years and years of experience that he most likely hadn’t really thought about it at all.
Love was a big deal. Love was… everything.
Could I be in love with Janessa? Hell yeah, I could. It would be the easiest thing in the world to fall in love with a girl as perfect as she was.
But it also scared the hell out of me. I wasn’t ready. I didn’t know if I’d ever be ready. And especially since she wanted both of us… I just didn’t know what to do.
“The problem is that she’s young,” I said. “And I’m not trying to be an asshole, but you don’t exactly have the greatest track record when it comes to relationships, either.”
