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Now, though, having excused myself to the restroom while Janessa had gone off to finish cooking dinner and Cade and Justin had been busy talking cattle, I had time to look around and appreciate what a nice house it was.
A big, Victorian two-story farmhouse, it was old and impressive but still felt warm and lived in. There were family pictures lining the walls and generations of knick-knacks that I could have spent hours looking at.
My stomach rumbled again, reminding me that I wasn’t here on a sight-seeing tour. I just needed to make my way to the kitchen, which should be an easy enough task since my feet had already started carrying me there of their own free will in anticipation of Janessa’s fried chicken.
When I finally stopped in the kitchen doorway, though, I didn’t see any sign of Justin or Cade. What I did see was enough to make me forget all about my stomach as the rest of my body suddenly stood up and took notice.
Janessa was standing at the stove with her back to me in denim shorts that were so short I had a hard time looking at anything but her long, tanned legs for several seconds.
Jesus, it should be a crime to look like that. That perfect mix of sexy and innocent that only a woman her age could really pull off. And Janessa Thoreson pulled it off really, really well.
It was only after I got a good, hard look at every inch of those legs that I realized she was wearing a tiny white shirt that seemed to be nothing but a few inches of fabric held together by the thinnest little straps I’d ever seen. It covered everything, of course, but even from the back I could tell that it wouldn’t leave much to the imagination.
Fuck, was she trying to give me a heart attack?
I really needed to find Cade, if for no other reason than to make sure I kept my end of our agreement. Because right now it was taking every ounce of self-control not to give in to every single sexy urge that was going through my head.
I had even taken a step closer somehow, though I hadn’t realized I’d moved at all. She was like some sort of beautiful, sexy, forbidden blonde magnet, and I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to resist.
Except then I noticed something else.
She sniffled, and her bare shoulders shivered even though it had to be at least ninety degrees where she was standing over the hot stove.
I took another step closer, craning my neck to try to see her face, but a few strands of long hair were in the way. Then she sniffled again, and I knew something was wrong.
“Are you okay?” I asked, cringing as she jumped and let out a muffled little squeak that would have been absolutely adorable if it hadn’t been for the tears that were streaming down her face when she turned to look at me. “I’m sorry,” I said, not even trying to stop myself from closing the distance between us to put an arm around her. “I didn’t mean to scare you. I just… what’s the matter? What happened?”
She looked up at me with her big blue eyes and didn’t say a word for several long seconds. I could feel the rise and fall of her breasts pressing against my side with each shallow breath she took, and fuck if it didn’t make me squeeze her a little tighter.
“I was… I didn’t think…” She swallowed hard and took a deep breath before reaching up to wipe her damp cheeks. “I didn’t know you were still in here. I thought you went with Cade and my uncle.”
Oh, right. Cade and Justin. I probably should have been wherever they were.
I reluctantly took a step back to put a little more space between us but didn’t completely remove my hand from her back until I could see that the tears seemed to have completely stopped.
“Where are they?” I asked, finally breaking away from her gaze to look around the kitchen. I’d been so caught up with her—first in admiring her, then in trying to figure out why she was crying—that I honestly hadn’t even realized Cade and Justin were missing until she’d mentioned them. “And are you okay? You never answered why you’re here all alone and crying. Did something happen?”
Her cheeks had been flushed, whether from the heat or the tears or both, but turned a deeper shade of pink at my question.
“They’re out by the barn, I think,” she said, giving me a pretty smile that would have been even better if it had been completely genuine. But I couldn’t help but notice that as pretty as it was, it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Uncle Justin wanted to show Cade our new foals. They’re really cute—a colt and a filly this year.”
On any normal day, I would have loved to sit and talk about horses with her, especially since her smile had actually brightened a little when she’d mentioned the foals. But she still hadn’t answered my other question, and… damn it, I just had to make sure she was okay.
“I should go out and find them,” I said, still not moving from my spot next to her. “And I don’t mean to pry, but—”
“Everything is okay,” she finished for me, smiling sweetly again. “I was just… well, never mind. It’s going to sound dumb.”
“No,” I said, shaking my head. “It isn’t dumb. No matter what it is, it isn’t dumb. But you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. I just couldn’t leave you standing here looking upset.”
“Thank you,” she said, the tremble in her voice giving away the lie of her pretty smile. For a moment, I thought she might start crying again, and I silently cursed myself for pressing the issue. But she held it together with the help of a few ragged breaths. “I was just standing here cooking and… and I started missing my parents.” She shook her head. “It’s been over a year since I lost them, and sometimes it hurts so much it might as well have been yesterday. I just…” Big tears started rolling down her cheeks again. “I just miss them so much.” She dashed at her cheeks as I moved to give her another hug. “They would have really enjoyed tonight. They loved having people over—any excuse for my mom to make a big meal.”
Damn. My heart was breaking for this girl. She was way too young to have to deal with that kind of grief. It was enough to break a person at any age, but it was especially cruel to someone just starting out in life.
“I won’t lie to you and say it gets better,” I said, holding her tightly as she cried against my shoulder. “And I wish I could say the pain goes away sometime, but it’s been five years since I lost my wife to cancer, and I still think about her all the time.” I paused, trying to collect my thoughts as a wave of emotion hit me. Jesus, I hadn’t anticipated getting caught up in my own damn feelings. “But the pain fades eventually, and then it becomes a little easier to focus on the good times you shared.”
“When?” she asked, her voice quiet and muffled as her whole body shuddered with a deep breath. “When does it get easier? When does it stop feeling like my whole world is upside down?”
“I wish I could give you a good answer.” I took a deep breath of my own. “You’re allowed to feel whatever you need to feel, though, okay? Don’t let anyone tell you any differently. And if you ever need anyone to talk to—” The sound of the back door opening made me cut my words short. Probably for the best, if I was being honest. “You okay?” I whispered, giving her shoulder a squeeze as I took a step back to put a respectable distance between us again.
