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“That’s really great. I’ve been pursuing my own career, and my studies keep me really busy.”
He nodded, giving me one of his winning, super-bright smiles. “Of course. I mean, you’re a professor. That’s wonderful. It’s really great to see you, Kate. You still look amazing.”
“Well, Hollywood is treating you nicely too. Your teeth are blinding.”
He looked a little sheepish at that. “Yeah, I got a little work done. No one wanted a leading man with a chipped tooth.”
“I did,” I said before I thought better of it.
“Well, you were the exception. You always liked my boyish grin and messy hair. I remember you used to put your fingers through it just to mess it up.”
I remembered those times too, and how refreshing it was just to play with him. We had been so close, and it was hard to think of all the time that had passed between us. “Well, don’t worry. I won’t try it now. I plan on keeping my head down and doing my work. I’ll try not to get in your way, and you can just pretend I’m not even here.”
Jake’s smile faded. “Yeah, I remember how important your work is to you. So, I guess I’ll leave you to it.” He rose from his chair and started for the door.
“Wait, didn’t you have questions? It’s the least I could do.”
“No, Kate. It’s okay. I don’t need any special treatment. I’ll just go to the meeting like everyone else.” He left the room.
With a sigh, I eased back in the chair to prepare for my meeting. I couldn’t believe he was still mad at me for what happened between us. I still remembered it like it was yesterday. The event had played over and over again since that night.
“God, you’re so beautiful,” Jake had said between kisses. He had practically ravaged me from the minute I got in his car after our friend’s senior farewell party. It had been the best night until then when everything had gone sideways. “You’re all I need in this world, Kate. Do you know that? You’re the one who makes it all bearable.”
“I love you, silly.” It was nothing to say that to one another. We’d said it a hundred times, and while I felt it, maybe, looking back, I didn’t really know the meaning of the words. And I had no idea at that moment that their intentions were about to be tested.
“I love you too. I want you to come with me, Kate.”
I remember giggling at that moment, having been taken off guard by his words. “Come with you? Where are we going? Across town for pizza or out to the point?”
“No, I mean away from here. Away from my shitty home life and all the crap that’s dragging me down. I have to get away, but I need you. The only option is for you to come with me.”
He made it sound as if I had no choice or say, and I had plans of my own. “Where are you going?” He hadn’t talked about starting over somewhere else before. I had known his parents were driving him crazy, that his dad’s alcoholism was ripping his family apart, but I had always thought he’d stay in Wisconsin to look after his mother.
“To California. Vegas? I don’t know, baby, but anywhere is good as long as you’re with me. I thought about Hollywood, you know? Being famous. It seems like anyone can be famous these days. Why not us?”
I had looked back and wondered if he even knew me at all or if he ever listened. “I don’t want fame, Jake. I just want to follow my own dreams. And I’m sorry, but they aren’t in California or Vegas.” I knew I’d never make it there in my chosen field.
“But I would be there. And you could still go to college if you want. I’d support you.” He shrugged like he didn’t understand. “Aren’t I enough? I’d take care of you, Kate. I’m going to work and make money and take care of us both. Besides, I’ve got enough saved from work, and I know you have a little nest egg.”
“That’s my college money, Jake. It’s for college. I’ve got that scholarship to the university, remember? I worked hard for it, and I want to use it.”
“Well, I guess that’s that then because I have to go, Kate. I have to get away from here. I feel like I’m slowly dying on the inside, and honestly, you’re all that is good in my life. You’re all I have here. You’re all that’s keeping my head above the water. Without you, I’ll drown. So, I guess unless I can change your mind, this is goodbye.”
I gave him one last kiss that night and never saw him again. The pain in my gut that I felt that night never had entirely faded.
