AllFreeNovel
Share Us
It wasn’t like I sat around and dwelled on the ways that my childhood might look sad to an outsider.
I had nothing to complain about. Not a single thing.
I had every advantage given to me. Every privilege.
We could always afford clothes, and food and great schools. My father always pushed and encouraged me to do my very best.
So what if he didn’t give me a puppy?
I was hardly abused.
But I made a mistake in glancing up at Cameron, and the look in his eye was so patient, so steady, so curious, I found myself answering.
“I was ten,” I said, with a lift of my chin. “And I wanted a dog. I did all my research, found a list of hypoallergenic dogs because I knew he’d object to having something that shed hair all over the house. Made a spreadsheet of shelters and breeders in the area, cost breakdowns, and drafted a contract of what my responsibilities would be.”
His lips quirked. “At ten?”
I nodded. “Every life situation becomes an opportunity to learn,” I said, repeating what I’d heard my entire life. “And if I didn’t present myself professionally, the chances of him saying yes dropped by about fifty percent. I started tracking that when I was eight.”
Cameron let out a shocked gust of laughter. “You’re joking.”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Okay,” he said slowly, “you’re not joking.”
The cat, done eating and his eyes already getting drowsy, wandered over toward the couch and stretched himself in a patch of sunlight coming through the window.
My heart churned with something sweet and warm.
“I was alone a lot,” I said quietly. “He traveled often for work. I thought maybe having a companion would be beneficial.”
I’d have someone to take care of. Someone to play with. Someone who’d always be excited to see me when I walked in the door.
“He disagreed,” Cameron said.
Keeping my eyes on the sleeping cat, I nodded, and my ribs ached, pulling in tight on themselves. Unwanted memories transformed into thick emotion, crawling sluggishly up my throat, and I shoved it back down.
How did that even work? I hadn’t thought about that in years. I didn’t lay around and pine for the dog I never got. But the moment the memory resurfaced, it was like I’d held a beach ball underwater for a bit too long, and it pushed above the water in a great big loud whoosh.
“He did.”
He also told me that our housekeeper was enough companionship, and how could I possibly ask him to upset the balance of the household like that?
I didn’t tell Cameron that because if I saw pity in his eyes, I’d lose the threadbare hold on my control.
I stopped asking my dad for things like that.
“You picked out your favorite from that list of dogs, didn’t you?” Cameron asked.
My eyes burned, but I refused to look at him.
If I looked at him, I’d cry, and Lynches didn’t cry. Certainly not in front of anyone.
I never had.
Tears show weakness, my dad told me. That your sphere of control doesn’t even include yourself.
“I did,” I whispered.
