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“Guess it’s a good thing I made enough to feed a small army.”
“Hm?” he says looking up from his phone, mouth so full a piece of pancake is hanging out.
I chuckle, “Jesus Echo, the food ain’t going anywhere; you can slow down.”
He finishes chewing before speaking, “They’re good.” His cheeks flush.
“Thank you. “ I smile.
We start talking, and it’s almost like there isn’t the looming presence of our past.
Until I check my phone.
“Are you okay?” Echo asks as I pound a fist to my chest in attempt to stop choking on my saliva.
“Fine…” I grunt, “I’m… Fine.”
How did I forget? The guys are coming over to discuss the man in front of me.
“Uh… Okay?”
I’m fucking this all up. But I need Echo to leave in the next 10 minutes. His brother will likely be first to arrive seeing as my other two guests are in the honeymoon phase, and I don’t know how to explain why he’s there. I’m only good at making musical arrangements on the fly, not excuses. And I suck at lying.
Fuuucckkk.
“Um…” Oh shit, what do I say? I don’t want him to go and I don’t want to upset him. I’m at a catch-22.
My last option is to get him to leave. To make him want to go. I don’t know how to do that either.
Having a real job would come in so handy right now.
“Echo—“
“I’m actually gonna go.”
“Oh.” I don’t even know what I was gonna say. Echo must have sensed something after my choking fiasco. I wanted— needed him to leave and yet, I feel sad that it’s actually happening.
I still somehow managed to fuck this up. Everything was going so well. He’s leaving because of me, again. Apparently I do know how to drive him away, even if that isn’t the plan at all.
“Well, let me walk you to the door?”
“I know where it is.” he says, pushing his chair away from the table as he stands to leave.
I don’t try to chase him or stop him. Maybe that’s the wrong choice. I don’t know.
All I know is that when Scout shows up at my front door and I see his face thats so familiar and yet different at the same time, I wish I had just canceled instead.
Echo
I’m such an idiot. What was I thinking? Not only seeking Callum out but staying the night? I was not drunk enough two nights ago to warrant that.
And he almost got me a little. Almost. That breakfast was so nice. He was so fucking nice. But then he was acting so fidgety and strange. Like he wanted me to leave. Even though he looked so fucking sad when I did.
Needless to say, any good feelings he evoked were evaporated by that notion. You know what they say; ignorance is bliss and all that. Was he just being nice so I’d go faster or something? I can’t imagine how that’d make much sense but acting like that after his declaration in the practice room…
I guess that tiny part of me that holds on to a ghost of him really hoped it was true. Guess not. I told him then: Actions speak louder. And so far, his actions are quite fucking loud.
Knowing and feeling are two different things though, and knowing logically that of course Callum hasn’t changed doesn’t keep me from walking into practice with a cloud over my head. Kellen would say my aura is dark or something.
