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Is there something wrong with me?
Thoughts staring into a mirror. My eyes are green. My teeth are straight-ish. I’m tall. Placing my hand on the sink, I lean in to study myself.
I often wonder if it was something about me specifically. I guess that happens when you get cheated on. Even though I’m not sure it really counts. It still hurts the same.
The unusually loud bathroom door closing startles me, and I slip a little, hitting my face on the mirror and falling backwards onto the floor. I didn’t even realize I was so close.
“Oh, God! Are you okay?” Callum’s voice floats towards me before he’s joining me on the ground, lifting me up and assessing me, as if to check for injuries.
“Jesus, I’m fine Callum, quit it.” I say, swatting his hands away. He can’t touch me like this. Gentle, and caring. With clothes on. No way.
“Sorry. Are you sure you’re fine?”
I glare at him.
“Yeah,” he sighs, before grumbling, “You’re fine.”
He stands up and reaches a hand down for me, I contemplate being petty, but he didn’t do anything and I did just hit my head.
“Thanks,” I say, dusting off my pants.
“You can leave me alone now.”
“Echo, listen—“
“No.”
“Wha— No?!”
I shoot another look, “Am I speaking another language?”
He sighs, looking at the wall, “I wanted to apologize for my behavior two days ago. I know I was acting strange, and I don’t know if that’s contributing to this… mood… you’re in, but I’m sorry. And while I can’t fully explain— and I know that sounds dodgy— I hope it doesn’t deter you from choosing to give me a chance. I know you don’t trust me, but we also can’t build that trust if neither of us try.”
He looks worried, like he doesn’t know if he’s ruined everything after all. The fear in his eyes… The emotion in his voice…
I stand there speechless, mouth agape, bobbing open and closed like a fish. What just happened? My arms wrap around myself in a hug, as if to provide myself comfort.
Everyday I feel closer to breaking. As much as I hate him, I can’t deny the truth of what lies beneath.
I guess love and hate really are two sides of the same coin.
He sighs, “Just… think about it okay? I really am sorry. I’ll explain one day, I promise.”
He takes a step forward and his eyes dart toward my lips.
I can feel my eyes widen, my breath quickening, my pulse jumping. My arms clutch a little tighter as my body stiffens.
Please, stay together Echo.
Please, don’t kiss me Callum.
He doesn’t kiss me.
Not on my lips anyway. Instead putting his large, gentle hand to my arm before placing a kiss just as soft to my cheek.
The spindly spiderwebs of faith crack the bulletproof glass encasing my defenses. I have to get out of here. I need to run.
I can’t— I can’t be around him.
