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I might not like to think about it, but my grandfather is getting older, and he’s not exactly equipped to fight off the thugs who cornered me in the alley. The thought of losing him was like a weight growing heavier and heavier while sitting on the middle of my chest.
“They came back, Marigold,” his voice was a pained whisper and it moved through me, picking up fear and shame and regret along the way.
I left my grandfather to deal with the men who had threatened me, who had, apparently, threatened him before. It was a horrible thought. I was doing what I needed to do to preserve myself, but I wasn’t doing anything to help him. I knew then that I wasn’t going to let him deal with the problem alone. I couldn’t. It was also my birthright being threatened.
Not only was the store promised to me, but I had spent years building up Turning Pages. I was damn proud of the store and everything that it stood for. It was a fixture of the community while also being a place where other people found books they fell in love with, books which helped them through the tough times and gave them peace.
I wasn’t going to lose it or take the threats lying down.
“I’m going to fix this,” my voice was vehement when I spoke to my grandfather.
“No,” he tried to argue, “you’re safe and I don’t want you to get any more involved in this than you already are.”
His argument fell on deaf ears, and I told him I’d talk to him soon before I hung up. I went in search of Sergio, and I could tell by the look on his face that he knew what I was finding him to talk about. To say his face was thunderous would be an understatement. There was also a look of fierce protectiveness as well as irritation. It wasn’t a look I liked to see, but I wasn’t going to be dissuaded.
Before I could say a word, he held his hand up, his voice colder than I’d heard it before, though I had limited interactions to pull from, “I know what you’re going to say,piccola bellezza.” My little beauty. I loved it when he called me that and it warmed my heart. Except for yesterday when I knew he was about to shut me down. “I can’t allow you to be put in danger and that is exactly what you would be if you go back to the store. I have people working on this. You’re not going to lose the store.”
“I’m not only worried about the store,” I argued. “I’m worried about my grandfather. I don’t want to lose him either. They could hurt him.” I swallowed hard, trying to dislodge the lump in my throat. “He’s all I have left. The only family I have.”
I saw hurt flash across Sergio’s handsome face and my stomach sank. He knew what I meant though, he had to. He might be part of the Agosti family, and it was clear how deep that went, but then there is Lorenzo. His brother. His blood brother.
They had a different bond, one I had already seen in action when Lorenzo and Daisy, his wife and the youngest sister of the Agosti brothers, came over for dinner the night after meetingElio. Daisy was a breath of fresh air, all smiles and kind greetings. She made me feel like the life I was embarking on, the one I knew would bring danger, was something I could live with, something I could more than endure.
It was also clear how much Sergio adores his big brother; how much he looks up to him and that Lorenzo’s involvement in the Agosti family is what led Sergio to the life as well. He wanted to be just like his big brother and Lorenzo did everything he could to help his brother as well as protect him.
It was sweet to see, and it made me long for something similar. I was never blessed with siblings though and it reminded me of the only blood family I have left.
“You have me,” Sergio spoke, his voice soft and sure, but also jagged as if the thought of me not accepting him and what he was offering was splintering him at the edges.
“I know I do,” my voice was firm because I didn’t want him to question my commitment or my desire to build a life with him.
It was everything I wanted, but I also knew it couldn’t happen freely. Not yet. Not until whatever was going on with Lang was dealt with.
I could see the war in Sergio’s eyes. I also knew I probably wouldn’t win. It cracked something inside of me and I turned away, not willing to fight. Not willing to plead my case because it all seemed fairly easy and straight forward to me.
I straightened my spine, even when Sergio came up behind me and wrapped his thick arms around me. Everything in me wanted to sink into his warmth and take it, steal it, and make it my own. I couldn’t do it though, not yet. If I did, I knew it meant that I would give into him and I needed to fight one more battlebefore I could allow him to shelter me from everything bad in the world.
Sergio didn’t say a word, I’m sure feeling the war I was fighting within myself. He tried to comfort me, he tried to make me see with his touch that he was right. I wasn’t going to give in, and neither was he. We were two statues, standing tall and not giving. Marble and trapped. Lost and alone.
That is why, when Sergio left today to meet with Elio, I slipped out of the house and made my way toward Turning Pages. It might not be the best idea I’ve ever had, and it might get me into trouble, and not just with Sergio, but it couldn’t be helped.
Something is telling me I need to see my grandfather. I need to make sure he’s okay and try to come up with a plan. One that will rid us of Lang and give me the freedom to step into the life I’m meant to live—one with Sergio and I side by side.
The moment I open the door to the store, I know something is wrong. Very fucking wrong. Everything is too still. It’s too silent.
My steps quicken as I make my way toward the sales desk. When I round the corner, I gasp in a deep lungful of air, preparing to scream. Before I can let it out, a large hand clamps down on my mouth and fear freezes me. I think my heart stops as well.
“You shouldn’t have gotten that thug involved,” I recognize the sinister voice of the man holding me as one of the men from the alley. One of the men who threatened me.
I look down at the body of my grandfather, splayed out on the floor with a deep gash on his forehead which is bleeding heavily, and I know this man also hurt the man who I idolize, the manwho patched up every scrape, the one who held me close and helped to show me how much possibility there is in the world.
Tears well up in my eyes and I fight them, not wanting them to fall, not wanting to be weak. I know it’s not going to happen though. I’ve never felt strong, not until I met Sergio, and right now I’m alone and all I can think is that the man I love was right to tell me not to get involved. I should have trusted him, but I also couldn’t ignore my gut and my need to check on my grandfather.
Maybe there is no one right thing, only the reaction we have in the moment.
“You shouldn’t have pissed Mr. Lang off,” the man hisses and the first tear trips over the bottom of my lashes and streaks down my cheek.
I try and hold the rest of them back, but maybe it doesn’t matter if I fail.
