AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I swallow, my bottom lip trembling as my heart beats in grief for the life I could have had. “Exactly that.”
“What about Christmas? Your birthday?”
My eyes flutter shut as my head shakes from side to side, almost imperceptibly.
“How?” Fred sounds confused, his fingers dropping from my chin and wrapping around my hands, enveloping them in his warmth.
Sucking in a large breath, I open my eyes and look up, meeting his gaze. “I’m a stray, Freddy.” I shrug.
His lip twitches. “A stray?”
“I was abandoned as a toddler, in foster care since then until I ran away at thirteen.”
All signs of mirth leave his features as my words penetrate. “What about your foster families?”
“They never were real families. I’d have been better off living on the streets.” I shrug again. “I don’t even know what a family should feel like.” My nose tingles.
Fred swoops me in one motion onto his lap and cradles me in his arms.
“Alessa,” he murmurs into my hair, rocking me. A tear slides down my cheek. It’s stupid, really. I’ve never cried because of my situation. But here, in Fred’s arms, I feel so vulnerable. Yet free at the same time. Like it’s okay to be sad for what has been. What should have been. “No matter what happens, you have a family now. I’ll be your family. Prettysure the boys would agree with me, too. Fifteen minutes in your presence is all it took for them to love you.”
“Bullshit,” I chuckle.
“It’s true. You’re amazing, and don’t you dare deny it.”
“I’d never deny the truth,” I chuckle, wiping my eyes on my sleeve.
“Good. Now, let’s see your scooting skills. Just let me take a photo first.” Fred grins before getting up.
I pose like the big nerd that I am. Dressed in the whole getup before taking my new toy for a spin around Dante’s property.
29
ALESSA
Having fun and making friends is exhausting. In fact, by the time the evening comes and the skies darken, I’m so tired I basically crawl into Dante’s comfy bed and burrow under his warm blanket.
Surrounded by his fading scent, I toss and turn, trying not to think about where the hell he is and why whatever he’s doing is taking him so long. The worry that something has happened to him is a constant throbbing pain behind my rib cage. And despite the fiery anger lit by the discovery of his deceit, I find myself caring more than I’d ever expect. It’s a feeling I’ve never experienced before, a combination of a raw ache in my chest, a tightness in my throat and a heaviness in my stomach.
Normally, I’d be all over Google trying to figure out what I am dying of, but this time, I have an inkling of what’s happening and am pretty sure only one thing can cure this. Or person, I should say.
I think…
Gah! This is harder than I thought.
I think… I miss Dante.
I miss teasing him. His heated stares. His angrydemeanour. The ticks in his jaw when I say something aggravating. But most of all, I miss the way his whole body melts when he holds me against him.
God, I miss the way he touches me. And how he knows the exact amount of pressure with which to stroke my skin to make me feel like I’m on fire. How even when he’s angry, he’s the only person who makes me feel safe. And, as hard as it is for me to admit it, I miss the feeling he elicits in me when his fingers are inside me.
I’ve never given much thought to what sex could be like. Not after having my virginity so brutally taken away from me at such a young age. Since then, I’ve never felt the desire to explore that part of me. Never felt attracted to anyone in that way. Don’t get me wrong, I could appreciate a fine male specimen, but no one has ever made me feel…empty. Like I needed to be naked, skin to skin. Taken. Filled. Craving the feeling of the other person inside me.
Untilhim.
Until his angry eyes made my heart stutter, and my pulse race.
I used to think I was not meant for any of that. Destined to end up alone, and to never experience that sort of closeness with anyone. I didn’t think it could feel good, and I was definitely not eager to find out how bad it could be. In fact, before coming to Blackwood I was sure I was asexual. I wasn’t even that bothered about exploring myself. Untilhetouched me. Until today.
