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I did my business quickly, hoping that he wasn’t standing right outside the door listening to me pee. Looking in the mirror as I washed my hands, I tried to see myself as the men outside did. My hair was still clean from the shower I’d had the day before, but it was messy. I hadn’t bothered brushing it when I’d woken up that morning and hadn’t thought to do it since. Using my wet hands, I smoothed the little wispy hairs away from my face and fixed my ponytail, wrapping the hair around and around and tucking the end into the elastic so that it resembled the bun I usually wore in public.
I couldn’t do anything about the dress I was wearing. It was warm inside the building and I would’ve liked to take my coat off, but there was a large stain running all along the front of it.Washing clothes by hand with dish soap left a lot to be desired in the stain-fighting department.
“Esther?” Otto called as I zipped my coat back up. “You okay?”
“I’m fine,” I called back, reaching for the door. I opened it to find him just inches away.
“You were quiet.”
“I was fixing my hair,” I replied, moving past him.
I really didn’t want to go back to be interrogated again, but standing with him in the dim hallway brought up all sorts of memories that I was trying to ignore. He smelled the same. Spicy, almost, with something that was just specifically Otto. It would be way too easy to lean in, just for a moment, and rest against him.
He followed me back toward the main room and as we walked back through the archway I felt a little tug on my hair and my bun unraveled, falling down my back.
I looked back at him and he smiled unapologetically, shrugging. Butterflies took flight in my belly until I forced them into submission. I wasn’t there to ogle Otto Hawthorne.
“Come sit,” Dragon ordered when he saw us.
My heart, not nearly as calm as I’d like to pretend, started thumping hard at the look on his face. He’d been expressionless before, a blank slate, but he wasn’t hiding anything anymore. In fact, all the men around the table were visibly angry.
“Got the explosives at the cabin taken care of,” Dragon began, his eyes on me. “Looks like only half of the crates were there.”
“Half are still missing?” Otto asked in disbelief.
Dragon nodded but was still looking at me. “You said your dad gave you that phone for emergencies?”
I was afraid to answer, and I cleared my throat to procrastinate, even for a second. “Yeah. When he dropped me off.”
“The one in the cabin, yeah?”
“I left it on the kitchen table,” I confirmed, nodding.
Otto’s grandpa scrubbed a hand over his face and the man named Leo cursed under his breath.
“What?” I asked, looking around. While they’d all been watching me intently before, now only Dragon would meet my eyes.
“There weren’t any trip wires,” he said quietly. “They were rigged to go off when someone tried to use that phone.”
“What?” I asked in confusion as Otto jerked to his feet beside me, the chair he’d been sitting on crashing to the floor.
“Those explosives in your cabin,” Dragon explained, his stare almost sympathetic. “They weren’t connected to any trip wires, that was all for show. The minute you tried to call out on that phone, they would’ve detonated.”
I could hear the words coming out of his mouth and I understood them logically, but I was still having trouble following what he was trying to tell me. I was a quiet girl from a normal family. I didn’t go out, I didn’t drink or do drugs, I’d never been in trouble, I’d never even driven higher than the speed limit. All the talk of explosives and trip wires and shipments of rifles was so completely out of my experience that I’d kind of just gone along with it, not really letting any of it sink in because it didn’t make anysenseto me. I figured they’d get everything worked out and there would be an explanation for the last twenty-four hours and I’d be able to go back to my little cabin until my parents came for me.
Ididunderstand emotion, though. I could read expressions and body language. I knew when people were suspicious or curious or angry. My grasp on interpersonal communication was just fine, and all of a sudden the fact that Dragon, clearly the leader of the group, was looking at me like he felt sorry for me made everything come into sharp focus.
They were either very good actors or everything I’d thought I knew about my life was a lie.
“I’m not sure what you’re trying to do,” I said softly, clenching my hands together in my lap. “But, I think I’m done talking now.”
“Esther,” Otto chided.
“Leave it,” Dragon ordered him, still watching me. “Let’s give her a minute.”
The men got up from their seats and left us, moving across the room to the bar. Their conversation was hushed, like a low hum, and I couldn’t make out the words.
“You okay?” Otto asked, his hand leaving my back so he could brush my cheek with his thumb. “It’s a lot to take in, yeah? You look a little out of it.”
