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“That’s what you’re keeping me on the phone for?”
“Just answer the question.”
I sigh, “Probably Ernie’s, or maybe Luke’s.”
“Very creative,” Cam chides. “But you can’t call it Luke’s.”
“Why not?” I slide my work gloves on and pick up my sledgehammer.
“Because you don’t run a diner in the fictional town of Stars Hollow.”
“Huh?”
“It’s fromGilmore Girls.”
“Yeah, I haven’t seen that.” I look through the glass at the people sipping their coffee and the brunette behind the counter who’s putting on a broad smile for her customers. I wonder how soundproof that glass wall is? Probably not very.
“Since you’ve chosen not to get your own pop culture education, you’ll have to trust me. Luke’s is taken.”
“Noted.”
“Also, if anyone ever asks, you’re Team Jess.”
“I can’t be Team Luke?”
“No, of course not. There is no Team Luke.”
“Wh—” I start to ask him why not and remember I don’t care. “Okay, Cam. I’m about to swing this hammer.”
“Alright, I’ve got four days free coming up next week, or maybe the week after. Fuck, I don’t know. But there’s three or four days, and I’ll be there to help you.” He’s a chaotic guy, but he’s loyal.
“Alright, boss. Later.”
“I’ll see you sometime soon. Probably surprise ya,” Cam says and hangs up.
~
It’s been almost a dozen hours of heavy manual labor by the time I lock up to head home. All I want to do is pick my dog Betty up from daycare, take a long shower, and drink a cold beer on my couch.
But I can’t. Because my truck is missing.
What the hell?
I find my answer in the form of a reflective white parking sign that I missed this morning because it’s largely covered by an overgrown bougainvillea vine.
TURBINE CAFÉ EMPLOYEE PARKING ONLY
Violators Will Be Towed at Their Own Expense
There’s a Post-it stuck to the sign, proudly displaying a single all-caps word in blue marker.
JACKASS
Chapter 3
Allie
Play nice today. Your gut reaction isn’t necessarily your best reaction. -Allie’s Horoscope, February 8th
