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My assistant, who stood about four inches taller than me with platinum blond hair, diamonds in his ears, and clay-brown skin, smiled sheepishly. “Uh, I can explain.”
In his hands was one of my favorite power bars. I propped my hands on my hips jokingly. “Didn’t I tell you to get your own?”
“Sorry, Sara ate the popcorn. This was all we had left.”
“I’d say go on a snack run, but we’re packed today.” I squinted at him. “Why are you eating in here?”
He leaned against one of the metal shelves piled with healthy cat treats and miniature care bags we sent home with our clients. “Mark is on a call in the breakroom.”
“Well, tell Mark to wrap it up. We’re overwhelmed today.”
He nodded once and started to move past me. I caught a whiff of leather and sharp spice, something that reminded me of some pretty high-end cologne I’d inhaled once in a Macy’s.
I turned as Sterling passed through the doorway. “Also, while that smells nice, skip the cologne next time, okay?”
He stared at me for a second like I had grown ears and a tail. “Miss Anita, I don’t wear cologne to work.”
“You sure? I thought I smelled some.” I sniffed the air. The scent was gone. “Weird.”
“Stay away from that catnip, Miss Anita.”
I shooed him off and turned back to the metal shelves to grab a few care bags. Once I had some tucked into my flower-print scrubs, I went to my office to check the exam schedule on my computer.
Tiny potted plants, the fake kind, decorated the front of my desk along with two cups of pens and other random items. A few waist-high shelves were stuffed with medical books about cats, along with a few picture books for kids in case anyone brought their children into my office. Those were pushed to whatever wall space I had. Photos of Memphis were everywhere. The window behind my desk had the curtains drawn. It was force of habit at this point.
As I walked across the retro rug I’d gotten at a thrift sale, I noticed my cheeks were hot. I grabbed a handful of hand sanitizer from the pump on my desk and rubbed my palms vigorously. Was I coming down with something? Maybe it just had something to do with the procedure.
My hand swept over my belly. I’d been doing that ever since I left the clinic. Something about the motion just felt right to me, like I was cradling the potential for life in my belly. Warmth echoed through my scrubs to my fingers, causing me to smile crookedly as I stared at my stomach.
I wonder if he’s thinking about me right now.
That was a strange thought. Then again, it was strange to have a stranger’s sperm inside me right now. My brows twisted together as I tried to make sense of what I was feeling. Patricia had told me the procedure would bring up a lot of feelings. It wasa natural part of the process. I didn’t have to deny them or try to make sense of them either.
So, it was probably fine to be thinking about Liam. It was probably entirely normal to consider his feelings or thoughts, especially since a part of him was now inside of me.
Part of him is now part of me.
More warmth billowed in my belly, inspiring me to close my eyes as I leaned against my desk. The only thing I could sense through my closed lids was the light of my computer screen. Beyond that, the world seemed to be made of static. That leather and spice scent returned in that moment, making me think of autumn nights spent in front of a bonfire sipping cinnamon tea.
It made me think of the mall where I used to walk into the shoe store and inspect the leather boots that I desperately wanted to own. Right now, those heeled boots were tucked away safely in my car. My rugged sneakers were the preferred shoes for work. But I thought of my boots and how happy I was when I’d saved up enough to buy them on my own.
That had been a sign of true freedom, about two years ago. I’d left Phil behind in Charleston and made a dash for Beaufort, where I hoped I could settle down. Now that I had, I didn’t want anything to get in the way of my happiness—or anyone else’s happiness for that matter.
When I opened my eyes, I felt a calm sensation wash over me. I clicked through a few screens on my computer to see which ticket was being served and which room they were placed in. Every action I took from there felt mechanically practiced, unlike the way I’d interacted with Liam at the clinic.
There was a secret part of me that hoped he would reach out. The way he’d held my hand today was more supportive and caring than anything I had ever felt in my life. No one else came close to that. I wasn’t sure I was ready to be without itfor another couple of weeks while we waited to see about my pregnancy results.
Worse, I wasn’t sure I wanted to be without it at all.
Chapter 5 - Liam
I couldn’t sleep a wink that night. Every time I rolled to my left side, I stared at my left hand, where small crescent impressions had existed the previous afternoon. I kept uncurling my fingers and squeezing them together to recreate the pressure from her hand. But nothing I did really came close to how it had felt in that room.
Excitement for what was to come got me out of bed in the early hours of the morning. Just as the sun’s first winking rays peeked over the horizon, I pulled on a pair of joggers and a shirt to go for a run. Crisp air met my face when I stepped onto the porch. I jogged in place for a moment to get myself warmed up, thinking about how close I had come to calling Anita last night.
Yeah, I’d gotten most of her information from the clinic, but the more private information—like her number and address—was something I had to dig for entirely on my own. A little black ops training in computers got me that stuff much quicker than it would have been to bribe the clinic’s secretary.
Besides, I was supposed to be in retirement. I had to leave the bribery stuff behind if I wanted to be a good role model to my kid.
