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Dasha talked to her for nearly two months before she kissed Annie. It raised the stakes significantly. It put them all in danger, even if the information she got was spectacular. No senior agent would back her up if this came out, and even a whisper of homosexuality would follow her like a specter for the rest of her career. Not to mention, she’d done exactly what she’d been warned against. She’d meant to be a nanny. She’d meant to be a friend, someone Dasha could trust. What had Dasha picked up on? What had Annie done that told Dasha to lean in and capture Annie’s mouth practically in midsentence?
It didn’t matter ultimately because Annie, lonely and far from home, had enthusiastically kissed her back.
Despite the affair, Annie held her cards close to her chest. She waited another month before she admitted she was American and that she could help get Dasha and Yeva out of Minsk. All Dasha had to do was get as much information out of her husband about his job and the government’s plans and then meet Annie at a predetermined location.
The night before they decided to leave Belarus, they were tangled up together under the heavy comforter. “Alexa,” Dasha said,“ya lyublyu tebya.”
No one had ever told Annie that they loved her before, at least not anyone unrelated to her. No boyfriend, no one-night stand, no one. Annie had never felt particularly lovable, and she knew for a fact that she was not easy to love because she was so intense and secretive.
She assured Dasha that everything would be all right, that she would be safe with Yeva in America.
And then the next day, she found Yeva in Dasha’s arms, both dead.
She’d called it in, panicked. Her call triggered two agents to look for the husband, and within a day, they were dead too. Everyone involved got sent home. All because of Annie.
* * *
Annie stood at the sink in the little bathroom, brushing her teeth. Autumn had finally arrived, and she shivered in the crisp night air despite wearing a pair of socks pulled up to her knees, a pair of sweatpants, and a long-sleeved T-shirt that advertised the Henderson High School debate team of1983. She leaned over to spit out the toothpaste, then stuck her face under the faucet, slurping up water and spitting it out again. Her face was pressed into her towel when someone pounded on the door. She opened it, towel still in hand, to find Ashley holding the baby and Kevin standing right behind her. They looked terrified.
“What’s the matter?” she asked. They’d all had a very good day. She met a whole heap of Helen’s family and friends at the birthday party, and Annie gave Ashley three tickets to the Paula Abdul concert at the Forum in December and was rewarded with a hug.
“It’s too much,” Helen had murmured.
Annie shrugged. “I thought you could take Kevin too, and I can stay in with the baby.”
Helen had put her arm around Annie’s shoulders and squeezed.
Now Annie leaned over and took the squirming baby from the small girl, whose fear made her seem even smaller.
“Mommy said to come in here and stay with you.” Ashley crossed her arms over her chest. It was the same posture Helen took when she felt unsure of herself.
“Why?” Annie asked, shifting Zach’s weight to her hip. He was getting bigger. He put his hand in her hair and pulled.
“Because Daddy’s here,” Kevin said quietly. His demeanor brought out his mother’s features in his face.
The elusive Bruce Everton hadn’t shown up for his daughter’s birthday party. Ashley didn’t seem to notice, given she was surrounded by cousins and doting adults.
“Okay.” Annie freed her hair from Zach’s grasp and laying him down on her bed. “Everyone up here. We’ll sit together.”
Kevin stepped forward, but Ashley hesitated, looking back over her narrow shoulder toward the house.
“You want to sing a song or something? A few of our favorite things?” Annie offered, patting the mattress. Ashley whipped her head back around and glared at her. So much for that Paula Abdul hug.
“I like that movie,” Kevin said. Annie reached out and rubbed the top of his head, keeping her other hand on Zach so he didn’t roll off.
“Thanks, kid.”
“I think we should go see if she’s okay,” Ashley said nervously.
“Did they used to fight a lot?” Annie asked. “Before he left?”
“No,” Kevin said.
“Yes,” Ashley corrected. “You were always asleep because you were little.”
“I’m not little. He’s little,” Kevin said, pointing at Zach.
“Did he ever hurt you?” Annie asked. “Or your mom? Grab you or spank you?”
