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I nod along, because she’s obviously right, even though I feel nervous just thinking about it. “What would I wear?”
“Something from my closet.” Shelby grins. “You’re really considering this?”
I shrug. “Maybe. It would make me feel at least a little in charge of my life.”
She studies me and gives me a tight smile. “Jem, if you want to feel in charge, then take charge. Why wait?” She adjusts one of her breast pads, so the shape can’t be seen beneath the thin fabrics of her bra and dress.
“Maybe taking a break for yourself would help your dad. It’s easy for him to wallow when you’re taking care of everything for him, so maybe take a step back and see if he can stand alone for a while.” She frowns. “I only met your folks a few times before Gabe left, but they both clearly loved you, and I doubt either of them would have wanted you to put your life on hold the way you have. Maybe start thinking about whatyouwant, Jemma Wade. You have as much right to be young and self-absorbed as anyone else your age. Put yourself first for once.”
I nod and blow a raspberry on Jaxon’s cute little belly when he starts to wriggle and reach for his mom. “I’ll think about it, but you should get going before this guy latches back on and ruins that dress.”
Shelby nods and starts gathering her phone and keys and wallet into her purse while taking out a toy car, a pair of baby socks, and a spare diaper. “I’ll keep the wipes,” she mumbles and puts those back in. “Condoms…” She rummages through the kitchen drawer and points to the boxes in there. “Help yourself if you ever do go hunting for dick. Men are not to be fully trusted until they prove themselves clean.”
I snort softly, and she shakes her head. “I’m one-hundred-percent serious, Jem,” she says. “Don’t accept candies from strangers unless, they’re securely wrapped.”
I’m about to laugh again, but she’s giving me a hard look, so I nod and swallow my amusement. “Okay.”
“Good girl. Now… I have my phone, and I expressed some extra milk, in case I don’t make it back until after lunchtime, but I’ll be in touch, to let you know when I’ll be home. Thanks for looking after my boy.” She gives him a big smooch, and then rubs her lipstick off his cheek.
“Have a good time, and don’t worry about us,” I say. “We’re going to have a great time. Aren’t we Jaxon?” He blows a spit bubble at me and vocalizes something that sounds like an elderly goat.
I give him a nod. “Exactly.”
Shelby grins, opens her front door, and pauses on the step long enough to wave at us. “You two have fun.”
Once Jaxon’sfed and asleep in his crib, I look through Shelby’s closet. What would I wear on a night out, to attract a man’s attention?
No guy has ever looked my way with interest, so the concept is a bit foreign for me. I have to put on myWhat would Shelby Cooper do?thinking hat, and look with fresh eyes.
What do straight men like?
Tits. Pussy. Ass. The curved and hole-y trinity of alluring femininity, as Shelby would say.
I look down at my oversized grandpa-cardigan, band T-shirt, and jeans, and feel so completely shapeless it hurts — eventhough I was totally happy with what I was wearing only minutes ago.
I trail my fingers over one of Shelby’s fitted dresses. She has so many colors, but a classic little black number keeps drawing my eye. Whenever I’ve seen her in it, she’s looked like a million bucks, and even I wouldn’t turn her down if she invited me into her bed.
Oddly nervous, I wipe my clammy hands on my jeans, and then strip out of them. I won’t look anywhere near as good as Shelby, but we do kind of look similar enough that I could be her chubbier sister, so I’m hoping the dress will look okay.
I try it on and stare at myself in the full-length mirror, sort of shocked by how pretty and feminine I look. The clingy black fabric makes my curves super-obvious, and the plunging neckline reveals that I actually have too much bosom to hide. It seems a little naughty, to have so much flesh on display, but there’s something hot and needy about it that has me wondering what a man would think. An older man.
A thrill runs through me, and if I think too hard about enticing a mature guy, my nerves twitter even more with an alluring kind excitement. I’ve always been drawn to men much older than me, and Shelby’s suggestion that I snag one who’ll know how to please me makes me want it so badly. I’m so used to the men in my life letting me down that I’d love to encounter someone different.
I stare at myself in the mirror, trying to absorb some of Shelby’sawesomeness from her dress, to combat my insecurities.
If I want something, I shouldn’t wait for it.
The dress is stunning. I feel naked and covered at the same time, and as I roll my hips to swish the skirt back and forth, I look far more sensual than I ever imagined I could. I basically see myself as a dorky, wool-obsessed grandma trapped in ateen’s body, and I get on with little kids, older folks, and animals far more easily than people my own age.
But in the mirror, I’msexy. It’s almost impossible to believe when I’m used to seeing something more frumpy and dismissible. It’s like looking at a lie, and I seriously start to loathe how virginal I am, because the Jemma in the mirror can flutter her dark lashes, flash her blue eyes, and toss her boring brown hair just as flirtatiously as Shelby can, and I want to bethatversion of myself.
I meet my gaze in the reflection.
Maybe I can be. Even if only for one night? Tomorrow, perhaps.
All I need is the dress, some makeup, and a photo ID that says I’m old enough to enter a bar and order a margarita. Then I can sit back, sip my drink, and watch the crowd until I figure out who could take my virginity with a suitable level of skill.
Hopefully, he won’t run away screaming when I ask.
