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It’s not as good as Viviana BeatrixScott, but I like it.
“Vivianamakes her sound pretty and special, and a little badass, too. Not unlike her mother.” I sigh as I look over the pretty young woman who made a first impression that lasted me all year and will now last my lifetime. “The name tastes good when it rolls off my tongue. It sort of criesesteemed, old-world glamor,but with analive and kickingfeel to it. I like it.”
Jem’s blush deepens. “Thank you.”
She fidgets with Viv’s booties for a moment, and then looks at me again. “It’s good that I ran into you. I’ve been having the hardest time, finding the energy to cope with more consequences, and I didn’t want you to hate me. I didn’t want to be something you regretted, because that’s an awful thing to think about your child’s mother, and I…”
She chews her gum a few times, takes a couple of deep breaths, and keeps her head low, watching me from beneath her dark lashes. “I saidno strings, and that can still be the deal, Gunnar. I presumed I’d be raising this baby alone when I made the decision to keep her, and I’m not asking you for help. I don’t expect anything from you, and I—”
“You think I would father a child and not take responsibility for her?” My tone is harsh, and her head snaps up, like I intended. “I don’t abandon my people, Jem,” I say firmly. “I take care of them. I’m not letting you do this on your own. This is a whole new human being we’re talking about, and Viv’s going to take a lot of input. You’re going to need help, and I’m going to be here. Helping.”
Her dark eyebrows dip in the center, and she opens her mouth to say something, but I shake my head and stand. “I won’t miss out on more of my kid’s life than I already have.”
Her frown deepens. “She’s barely two months old. You haven’t really missed anything.”
“Haven’tmissedanything?” My lips flap without sound, and I push myself up to standing, while I stare at her. “It’s beenmonths. I didn’t get time to adjust. I didn’t get to make things easier for you. I have no idea how you’re doing — if you’ve been sick, if you have enough money to live, to be safe and comfortable and well-fed. Who’s been taking care of you? Supporting you? Doing the emergency midnight diaper runs so you can rest? Getting you whatever you need, to give Viv the best start? Are you stressed or tired? How was the birth?” I gasp. “Did you suffer?”
My voice cracks, and I cover my mouth. “Did I make you suffer?”
Jem’s frown deepens. “Are you serious?”
I squint at her. “What else would I be, given the circumstances? I’m forty-three-years old, and I made you a teenage fuckingmom. The least I can do is give a fuck and provide you with whatever support you need.”
She lifts one of her shoulders slightly, and her breathing is all shallow. She’s also gazing up at me like I’m fucking wonderful or some shit.
“I’ve been fine,” she says eventually. “I mean, I was a little nauseous in the beginning, and I’ve been horny as fuck for months on end without reprieve. Frustratingly, that’s only been escalating since I ran into you. You came inside me, and liked it; you’re already smitten with Viv; and I didn’t think I was the swooning type about this sort of thing, but you just got adorably feisty about being a good provider and an active participant in our lives, like a gorgeous fucking asshole, and now I’m all hot and needy with—”
She cuts herself off and snaps her mouth shut as tightly as her legs. I’m sure my shocked, open-mouthed staring is what gave her pause.
“What the…fuck?” The last word wheezes from me, like I’m deflating, because my cock is fucking swelling, and that’s so wrong a reaction, I can’t even begin to understand it. “Don’t do this to me, Little Miss. I need you to hush your pretty fucking mouth before I get you in any more trouble — if that’s even fucking possible.”
I run my hands through my hair and glance at the supermarket. “I didn’t think I was the kind of guy who was into younger women, but you’ve been confusing the hell out of me since we met, and I need you to not say hot shit like that to me. It makes it hard to think, and my base instincts aren’t what I should be following.”
I pace back and forth next to her car. “I want to do what’s best for everyone here. Right now, that’s making sure Viv is taken care of, which means I have to think with my head, not my cock. I’m too old to be the right man for you, Jem, but I’ll be the right father for Viv, I swear. I’ll be a good dad.”
Jem lifts the milk-drunk baby to her shoulder and burps her. “You want to hold her while I put myself back together?” she asks.
“Do I…?” I’m already nodding. “Yes. Please.”
She passes Viv to me, and I marvel at our baby a moment before pulling her close and breathing her in. She smells of milky sweetness and baby soap, and my heart can hardly take it. “It’s nice to meet you, Viviana Beatrix Wade,” I whisper and kiss her on the forehead.
She clenches her fists and starts turning red, scrunching her face, so I rest her against my shoulder, to finish burping her.
“You seem experienced.” Jem narrows her eyes at me when Viv gives up some of her air bubbles. “Just how many wild oats have you sown, Gunnar Scott?”
“Viv is my first,” I assure her. “But my little sister, Chiara, has four kids, so I’ve held a few babies. I kind of helped raise her out of diapers, too, so I come with recommendations for the wholeDadgig. I mean, you don’t know Chiara, so I can’t prove it until you’ve met her, but she’s a good girl. My mom said she was proud of the way I cared for them both after Dad left, and even though Mom’s no longer here to help, I won’t let you down, Jem. I won’t be the guy who pretends to care, and then leaves you. I fucking hate that guy.”
“Me too,” she says, her eyes getting a little teary.
“Hey, now,” I say softly. “You okay?”
She sniffs and avoids my eyes. “Just emotional. Lack of sleep combined with confronting the guy I’ve been avoiding for months about the baby we made, and him being really fucking sweet and nice about it…” She shrugs and clears her throat. “I’m fine. I… I need to go get my groceries.”
I move Viv into the crook of my arm. “You mind if I keep holding her and come with?” I ask as the baby snuggles in. “I can’t stop looking at her. She’s so fucking cute, Jem. Is that short forJemma?”
She nods, her face flushing bright pink as she holds out her hand to shake mine. “Jemma Wade,” she says with a shy smile. “I should have told you. I just didn’t want to get kicked out of thebar, and then I didn’t want you to turn me down for being too young, when I meant what I said. I was old enough to take dick, Gunnar.”
I grunt in agreement. She took my dick well, and quite a few times, as I recall. My softening cock jerks with interest again, and I distract myself by changing the subject as we walk back to the store. “So, tell me about yourself, Jemma Wade. The truth, if you don’t mind. I feel incredibly uncomfortable, knowing so little about you. And while we did agree tono stringsat the time, after the night we spent together, I had every intention of tracking you down, explaining what happened, and asking you out again, so please don’t skimp on details. I want to know all the important things — from before and after we last met.”
