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I fucked that.
Well, mostly he fucked me. Hard. And bare.
An appreciative utterance leaves my throat, and he looks me over as I shiver.
Of course, I have to pretend I’m not craving his cock, so I don’t look like a needy brat. “Frozen-food section.” I rub my arms like I’m cold.
He glances at the ice cream nearby and grunts softly, but when he returns his gaze to me, it lingers on my breasts.
My nipples are hard as fuck, and the breast I didn’t feed Viv with is now leaking through my —his— T-shirt.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” I mutter. I cross my arms over my chest, instantly overwhelmed.
Inside, I feel young and aroused when he treats me in a way that makes it easy to fool myself into believing I can handle anything, and that I’m cute and sexy and worthy of attention, but really, I’m this awkward, milky cow, who makes impulsive decisions, and as much as I want to do everything myself… I also want to be told I’m doing a good job and everything will be okay.
Since I got pregnant, my emotions can be all over the place, and the last thing I want to be doing is crying in the supermarket aisles, in front of a man I’d rather be impressing, considering he’s probably going to demand a role in Viv’s life, and there’s no real excuse why he shouldn’t be. I can already tell he’s going to be a better dad than mine have been.
A wave of guilt hits me. I shouldn’t have thought that — especially about a guy I barely know. My dads did the best they could, and I had an amazing childhood. For most of my life, my dads were wonderful.
Before they left and forced me to face everything alone.
The heartache I keep shoved deep wells to the surface in a rush, making it hard to breathe.
“Little Miss?” Gunnar says softly.
I meet his warm gaze and can’t stop the tears from falling.
“It’s okay, beautiful. Here.” He juggles Viv like an expert, shrugs out of his shirt, and using one hand, drapes it around my shoulders and arranges the way it falls, to cover the wet circle expanding over my breast. “There. See? Nobody will know, but if anyone even looks at you the wrong way, you tell me, and I’ll fucking sort them out. Okay?”
He gently brushes a tear from my cheek, and I suck in a shuddering breath and wipe my nose. “Thank you for being so nice to me.”
Gunnar falters and takes a step back. “I…” He seems unsure of what to say next and closes his mouth as he frowns. “Jem,” he says eventually, “you’re the mother of my child, and I will strive to respect and care for you, because that what’s best for you and for Viv. I’m not doing anything more than what any decent human should. You don’t need to thank me.”
Has it been so long since someone helped me that I forgot it’s a thing that can happen?
I sort of want to cry even harder.
I’m definitely attracted to this man, but when he’s being all supportive and kind and helpful, I can literally feel myself falling in love with him, and I don’t want to. I don’t want to rely on him, only to have him walk away.
That’s all anyone does.
My gaze falls on Viv, sleeping in his arms. It’s true love in his eyes when he looks at her, but I don’t inspire the same kind of emotions in people. I believe he’ll stick around for her, and that’s the best I can hope for.
Maybe some casual physical stuff, if he’s up for it, but no attachment. I don’t have the energy to make and lose any more of those.
I sniff back my tears, clear my throat, and lift my chin. “Sorry. Hormones catch me off guard sometimes,” I say dismissively. “Thanks for the shirt.”
“You’re welcome.” He tilts his head and appraises me with concerned eyes. “You sure you’re okay?”
I nod once. “I’m fine. I should really finish my shopping and get home, though. I have things to do.”
10
GUNNAR
I’m not sure what happened at the grocery store, but Jem went from a warm, interactive, and charming young woman to someone with a quiet, colder, almost sullen demeanor, and I felt both awful and responsible for it.
I didn’t want to leave her that way, but she gave me no choice. I offered to do every possible thing to help her, but it only seemed to make her more irritable, until she told me to back off. With volume. In front of everyone in the parking lot.
