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“You’re going to be amazing, Jem. I mean, you already are, but the rest of the world is going to eat you up, because you’re that fucking delicious. I’d totally take care of all your babies, so you could shine. Even if they’re not mine.”
What?
I narrow my eyes at him. “You’d help me raise some other guy’s kids?”
Gunnar face remains earnest as he shrugs. “They’d be Viv’s siblings, and I’d be amicable. More than amicable, because I fucking care. You don’t need drama, and I only want there to be love in your home. You deserve that. And I’ll do whatever you need me to, because I fucking love you, Jemma Wade.”
My heart stutters, and I feel around for something to hold, to keep myself upright.
He steps closer. “I love you, and if you want to cancel your date tonight, to go on one with me instead, I’d be the happiest man alive. I’ll march next door and tell your dads they have to watch the kids until tomorrow, because I’m going to need to give you my full attention all fucking night, and then some. I’ll love you forever, if you’ll fucking let me.” He’s breathing hard, and his eyes are glistening as if he’s on the verge of tears. He means every fucking word.
I lean back against the door, trying to find my bearings after having so much intensity hurled at me in such a short amount of time. I need to digest. I think aloud, hoping to better understand all he’s said.
“You took me outside to… tell me you gang-banged Ben’s milky wife, that you lied to me about having a girlfriend because youloveme, and you haven’t fucked anyone else in ayear?”
“It’s been more than a year. Until this weekend.” As he adds the last part, he sinks to his knees. “And that just proved to me that I was right to abstain. I only want you, Jem. But I’ll understand if you need me to continue keeping my distance. You requested no strings, and I’ve made a right fucking Gordian knot of things.”
I snort. I don’t know if I’ve heard anyone useGordian knotin a conversation before, but Gunnar Scott often surprises me with the depth of his thinking. Does working with stone give him the kind of silence he needs for that level of contemplation? Is that why he likes it?
“We’ve both made a tangle of this,” I say with a sigh, nudging him with my toes. “Get up and come inside.”
“Are you mad at me?” he asks.
“Definitely,” I reply without pause.
He nods and keeps his gaze low. “Okay. I didn’t want that, but I understand. Will you…?” He lifts his gaze to my dress for a moment before his shoulders sink lower. “If you need to stay out later, let me know. I can sleep on your couch, or I can take the kids back to my place, if you decide to bring someone back with you. I—” He shakes his head. “Take good care of yourself, Jem. It’d ease my mind some if you could be sure he’ll treat you well.” He closes his eyes with a sigh. “Easing my mind is probably pretty low on your priorities right now, but just… Don’t settle for less than you deserve.”
“Are you telling me what to do?” I ask, half-patronized and half-flattered he cares, but one-hundred-percent sure I don’t need his approval.
He shakes his head again, his gaze sincere. “I just want you to be happy and safe.”
“Great.” I go inside to kiss Vivgoodbye. “Come on, Shelby. We’ve got dancing and men to do.”
“We do?” She looks between me and Gunnar, as I drag her toward the door. “Oh. Yeah. We definitely do. Thanks for babysitting, Gunnar.”
Eager to put distance between myself and the man who’s overwhelming me, I pull Shelby out the door in a hurry and head for the car.
Shelby staresat me across the table.
“Wait.What? Him and his bros got it on with their friend’s wife — with the guy’s permission — to help them conceive?Wow. That is some redneck shit, right there.” She giggles and sips her drink. “Goes with the territory, though. The guy’s from the back country mountains of fuck-knows-where, so it’s not surprising they’d do shitthe old-fashioned way. Are you mad? You seem mad.”
I poke at the ice floating in my soda. “I don’t know what I am. I think I’m confused again. He was all awkward, like it was some big confession because he felt guilty.”
“Guilty for what? Fucking another woman? You already knew he was fucking someone else. And this baby-making thing for his friend doesn’t sound like he’s in love with the woman or anything.”
“He’s not,” I agree. “He’s in love with me. He said so.”
Shelby slams down her glass and leans in. “He did?”
I nod. “And he’s not fucking anyone else. He said he hasn’t fucked anyone since we met, apart from this thing he did with his friends, which he feels awful about and won’t ever do again.”
“Because he loves you,” Shelby says, staring at me.
I nod again. “He said he loves me and wants to be together. He wants to make babies with me and take care of us all forever,” I say in a rush, petrified of how much I want that. “That he’ll support me any way I need him to, so I’ll get everything I want and won’t have to sacrifice anything or set my career goals aside.”
Shelby looks thoughtful a moment before she nods. “He doesn’t talk with me a lot, but I don’t think I’ve had a single conversation with him where he hasn’t smiled when he says your name. And if there’s any mention of parenting, knitting, or TikTok, he cannot stop gushing about how fucking talented you are — and rightfully so, I might add.”
I blush and give her a lop-sided shrug. “He also said a bunch of other really sweet shit. The kind of things he’d only say if he really fucking loved me and has thought about it hard enough to make peace with the idea of rejection if I tell him I don’t intend to love him back. Really brave shit, Shelby. Like how he’ll keep supporting me as best he can, even if I move on and it means helping to raise another man’s kids as Viv’s siblings and stuff.”
