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My stomach churns at his words.
"Turns out, Pepper had a plan to trap a brother. She wanted to get pregnant and become an ol' lady."
The churning turns to acid. God, why would anyone do that? Why would she do that?
"She'd been with more than one brother. She'd been with a few. I was so fuckin' relieved when she announced the baby she was carryin' was Preacher’s. God fuckin' forgive me, but I was so fuckin' happy that I wasn't saddled with that bitch for the rest of my life. But Pepper hadn't finished fuckin' up people's lives. She had only just started."
How much more could happen? How bad could that woman be? "What happened?"
"Throughout her pregnancy, she was fuckin' as many people as she could without protection, and she was takin' drugs and drinkin' alcohol. When Tyson was born, babe, he was born addicted to the shit the bitch took. That tiny boy was fuckin' addicted to drugs the moment he took his first breath."
"Oh my god," I breathe, my tears falling thicker and faster.
"I was happy for my brother. I truly was. He got rid of that bitch and was able to focus on gettin' my nephew better. Tyson's fightin' fit. He's a fuckin' fighter."
"I'm so glad," I whisper. "That poor baby boy."
He doesn't look at me, his gaze focused on the beer he's holding in his hands. "Fucked up as it is, babe, today I had a look at that boy. Finally had a good look at him. I held him in my arms and looked at him. Saw those gray eyes of his?—"
I gasp. Preacher doesn't have gray eyes. No, he has these dark, intense brown eyes that look as though he's searing through your soul. The only person I know with gray eyes is Reaper.
"Is—" I pause, swiping my tongue over my bottom lip. "Is Tyson yours, Reaper?" I ask, wondering if that's what he's been trying to tell me.
He places the bottle onto the coffee table and runs both hands through his hair. "I don't know," he says thickly. "I swear," he says. "I looked at that boy and it was like lookin' in the fuckin' mirror when I was a kid. No fuckin' lie. It was like a spittin' image of me."
I stare at him in shock. "Have you spoken to Preacher?" I ask.
He shakes his head. Now I know why he looks gutted. He could have a kid, and if he does, it means that his brother, his best friend, is losing his baby. It's beyond fucked up. God, I hate Pepper. I hate her so damn much. How the fuck could someone be so cruel as to let this happen?
"What happens now?"
"I've no fuckin' idea. What the fuck am I supposed to do? Hmm? Do I break my best friend's fuckin' heart, Es? Do I break him until he's nothin'? 'Cause if Tyson's mine, that's exactly what's goin' to happen. He's goin' to have nothin'. Tyson is his lifeline, babe. He was fuckin' drownin' 'til that boy came along. What am I supposed to do, break him?"
I slide across the sofa, hating that there's distance between us. "I'm so sorry," I whisper. "I'm so very sorry, Reaper. I don't have any advice for you. It's a situation that's put you in an impossible position. Ultimately, you need to decide if you can live with telling him your suspicions, or do you let him be happy and watch what could be your son grow up thinking that another man's his dad?" I pull in a deep breath and wind my arms around his neck, holding him close to me. "I'm so sorry, Reaper. I can't tell you what to do. I wish I could take this pain from you."
He slides his arms around my waist and holds me tight. A shudder runs through his body, and I let him be, knowing he needs this right now. I can’t imagine the pain and heartbreak he's going through right now. He's dealing with a lot, and he's the only one who gets to make this decision. "Whatever you decide, you're not alone."
"I never wanted a family," he says, not releasing me. "My family is fucked up. My parents never gave a fuck about anyone but themselves. They hated each other. They got married because they had to. She got pregnant, and my grandparents demanded that they marry. It was like livin' in a fuckin' constant argument between them. Every day there was screamin' and fightin'. I swore I'd never do that, that I'd never end up like that."
"We're not our parents, Reaper. We're not destined to be them. We make our own paths, and we learn from their mistakes. You're not them. You're sweet, gentle, amazing. You have no idea just how at ease I feel when I'm around you. It's hard to believe that I could find someone I could feel this way about. You're not them."
He releases a harsh breath. "I know. The moment I met you again, I realized that pushin' everyone aside wasn't workin', and I didn't want to do that. Not with you."
My heart starts to race. God, he says the sweetest things.
"I can't do that to him," he says as he pulls back to look at me. "I wouldn't do that to my brother. To any of them. Tyson's happy. He's with Preach."
"Okay," I say gently. "I love that you're so selfless, but is that something you're able to do? I mean, seeing Tyson all the time, is that something you're able to separate yourself from?"
He shakes his head. "I have to. I won't let my brother fall. I can't."
"Okay," I repeat. "Okay, then we do everything to make this easier for you. You're not alone, Reaper."
"Grayson," he says, and I blink. "My name, honey, is Grayson."
I swallow hard as I look up at those gorgeous gray eyes. "Gray," I whisper. "I love that you told me," I say, honored that he did. "Can I call you that? It suits you better than Reaper. You're not that man with me."
He frames my face with his hands. "Told you my name, babe, so you would call me that. You're the only one, ever, who’s allowed to call me that."
