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Damn. I don't want to wake her, but I'm not sleeping without her.
"Alright," Ace says, his gaze on the doorway Digger just went through. "I'll see you both tomorrow. Be ready for the meet."
I grin. "Oh, I will. Don't worry about that." It's going to be fun taunting that asshole.
I move out of the office and make my way upstairs. Preach is going to be in for a rude awakening if he thinks I'm going to let him sink back into the drink. Fuck that. He's fought too hard for that shit. And it's not just him anymore. He's got Tyson to think about too.
I don't knock. None of the club whores are in the clubhouse tonight, not after the club was put on lockdown. Tomorrow, they'll return, and the single brothers will have fun. If one of the brothers needs an itch scratched, they can go and find someone to do it. I push the door open, surprised to find Preacher sitting on the bed, a bottle of whisky in his hands, unopened and full.
"You good?" I ask, my gaze moving over his face, checking that he is, in fact, good.
"Took this bottle and came up to bed. I was goin' to drink it until I passed out," he says without looking at me. "Then I came in here and saw the crib. Man, I fuckin' forgot about my kid. How fucked up is that?"
"You get a pass, man. You were fuckin' shot. Besides, it's not like you left him outside alone. He's in the fuckin' clubhouse surrounded by people."
He shakes his head. "I freaked the fuck out. I couldn't help but remember what it was like to numb out the pain. How good drownin' in a bottle felt. But then that crib was like a punch to the gut. I knew I couldn't go back to that asshole who didn't give a fuck about anyone but himself."
"Good. None of us want you to go back to that place."
"Went to Shadow and Seri's room lookin' for Tyson and they told me to leave him be and go to bed. The fuck am I doin', Reap? I mean, look at me. I'm a fuckin' mess."
I shake my head. "Nah, you're not a mess. You're just tryin' to find out who you are besides bein' a dad. That'll come. You just gotta take it a step at a time. Now, I'm glad I don't have to ream your ass out, 'cause my woman's fast asleep and I'm not with her."
He grins at me. "Happy for you, brother. She's fuckin' perfect for you."
"She's too good for me."
He nods. "That she is, but she's still perfect for you."
I turn on my heel and leave his room. "Proud of you, brother," I say, hovering in his doorway. "So fuckin' proud."
"Fuck," I hear him whisper as I carry on walking.
Opening my bedroom door, I'm shocked to find Esme lying on the bed with a tiny boy snuggled up to her. Fuck, seeing her with Tyson, her arm around him as she holds him, both of them fast asleep and so fucking peaceful, it makes me want this. I shouldn't. I made the decision to not let Preacher know what I thought, but it's so fucking hard to pretend. It's so fucking hard to act as though he's not the spitting fucking image of me.
Es and I have spoken about the future. Having kids is something she wants, but not yet. She's not ready, and I fully support her decision. We've only just gotten together, and the timing isn't right. But seeing her with Tyson lets me know that it's exactly what I want. Her round with my baby. The image of her pregnant pops into my head and my cock thickens. Fuck. There's something wrong with me.
I reach for the boy, careful not to jostle Esme. Tyson doesn't budge as I bring him close to my chest. He releases a soft sigh as he continues to sleep soundly in my arms. That twinge in my chest hits me as I walk toward Preacher's room.
Using my foot, I kick against his door, trying to keep from jostling Tyson in my arms. Within seconds, the door opens, and Preacher stands there with a furrow between his brow as he sees me with Tyson. "Thought he was in with Seri and Shadow, brother. Had I known he was with Es, I'd have taken him."
"It's fine. He's fast asleep. The kid can sleep through anythin'."
Preach chuckles. "You have no idea. Thanks, man. I'll see you tomorrow."
Handing Tyson over to Preacher has a pain spreading in my chest. It's fucking shit having to hand him over. But there's nothing I can do about it. Tyson's Preach's son and I've got to make peace with that somehow.
I walk back into my room and see Esme's staring at me, her eyes soft and filled with sleep. "You're okay," she whispers.
"Yeah, honey, I'm good. Just had some work to do. How are you?" I ask as I move toward her, pulling my tee off as I do. "Did you have a good day?"
"Yeah," she says through a yawn. "Although, next time you're going to have burly bikers, I don't know, meet me outside of school, can you let me know?"
I strip her of her clothes as I chuckle. "Yeah, Es, I can certainly try. Although, I'm hopin' that won't ever happen again."
"I'm glad you're okay," she says, her eyes drooping. "I was worried about you."
I help her into my tee and lie her down on the bed. I strip out of my clothes and climb into the bed beside her, pulling her against my chest. "I'm sorry I worried you. I'm glad you're here though."
