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I release a breath. Fuck. I thought that's exactly what he was going to do. I wouldn't have blamed him had he done.
"I thought about it," he admits. "I thought about running away with him. Packin' up his shit along with mine and runnin'. But I couldn't do that to you. Had it been any other brother who it came back was his father, I would’ve taken him and ran. Not you, Reap. I couldn't do that to you. You've done too much for me. You're my brother, man. I'd fuckin' die for you. I couldn't take your kid."
I stare at my boots. The fuck am I supposed to say to that? His words are the way I feel. It's why I never planned on letting him know that I thought Tyson was mine. Christ, this is fucked up beyond repair. "You don't have to leave," I say to him. "This is your home, your club."
He nods. "It is, you’re right, but this is also yours. You've found your woman, Reap. She has her life here. She has her job. Together, I know you're goin' to be the best parents Tyson could ever have."
"Nah, brother, that's bull and you know it. You've been his dad since the get-go. You protected him from that cunt. You did everythin' you could to have him survive the bullshit that bitch reaped on him."
He smiles at me, and the devastation in his eyes makes my heart fucking crumble. "I did, but I did it for my nephew, brother. I did it because no kid deserves to have that bullshit in their lives. I owe you, brother?—"
"Fuck that," I snarl. "I went to prison so you wouldn't be servin' a fuckin' life sentence. I didn't do it for you to pay penance."
He sighs. "This is probably the hardest thing I'm ever goin' to do. Don't make it worse. I trust you, Reap. More than anyone in this world, I trust you. I know that no matter what, Tyson's goin' to have an amazin' life."
The finality of his words lets me know there's no way I'll ever manage to change his mind. He's dead set on leaving. I wish there was a way for him to stay, but I get it. He wants a fresh start, one where he doesn't have to see other people playing happy families with the kid he once had.
"When are you goin'?" I ask, wondering how long we've got before he leaves.
"Tonight," he says. "I'm booked on the next flight out. It's soon, I know, but it's better for everyone to do this. As much as I'd love to stay, leavin' now is better for us all."
"You know that everyone's goin' to be pissed, brother. They’re goin’ to want to have a fuckin’ goin’ away party and everythin’.”
He nods. “I know, but I don't want that shit, Reap. The fuck is there to celebrate?"
I sigh. "You goin' to talk to Prez before you leave?"
"Yeah," he says. "He's next on my list. You were first, but you always were a nosey fucker who couldn't wait."
I chuckle. "True. Are you goin' to say goodbye to Tyson?"
He shakes his head. "No. It's hard enough leavin'. I ain't goin' to make it worse by sayin' goodbye. The best thing about it is that he's so small, he won't remember me."
I call bullshit on that. The kid's going to know, and he's going to miss the fuck out of him. He's been his dad, his only source of love and support for the past few months. There's no way he's going to forget him.
"I have everythin' set up for you. His crib is moveable. Do you need a hand movin’ it to your room?"
"You good doin' that? I can get Rush to help me. The kid’s around here somewhere."
He nods. "That works better," he says. "I have everythin' you need in the crib ready for you. Tyson's with Eda at the moment. She's watchin' all the kids. She tends to want to help out a lot."
My throat is lodged with emotion. I can't fucking believe that this is happening. What the fuck am I supposed to do? What if Tyson doesn't settle with us? What if he just wants Preacher? He finishes packing and turns to me. He holds out his hand for me to shake, and I glare at the fucker. "Come here, asshole," I growl as I open my arms.
He chuckles but we hug. "I'll call you in a few days. I need some time," he tells me.
Why the fuck do I feel guilty? I feel so much fucking guilt that my stomach is in knots. I fucking hate this shit. "You’d better. It's not too fuckin' far to come and whoop your ass if you don't."
"I will. You just gotta give me time."
I nod. "That I can do."
He slaps my back and pulls backward. "Your parents are assholes, man. They shouldn't have stayed together for as long as they did. That was on them. Not you. Reap, you're nothin' like them. Remember that. You love Esme. Everyone can fuckin' see that shit. You aren't your parents."
"I know, brother, and you're not yours."
We shake hands, and I watch as he reaches for his bag. "See you around, Reap."
"Keep your head up, Preach. Don't fall back into old ways. You're better than that."
