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CHAPTER33
ESME
Tyson's cries ring out through the room. The darkness from outside is unsettling him and I'm wondering if Preacher had a nightlight for him in their room. It's been two days since Preacher left and Tyson is missing him. My heart hurts for the boy. I hate that he's hurting, and I wish there was something I could do to help him.
Grayson cuddles Tyson in his arms, trying to calm him down, but it doesn't seem to be working. I reach for my cell and hit the flashlight on it. I turn my cell over and lie it face down on the bedside table, letting the light shine onto the roof. It's a bit brighter than I thought it would be, but hopefully it will do the trick.
It takes another ten minutes before Tyson falls back to sleep. This time when Grayson puts him down in his crib, there's no fuss. He's fast asleep and doesn't seem to be tossing and turning as he has done the last two nights.
"Fuck, Es, how did you think of the light?" Gray asks as he slides back into bed with me. "You're a fuckin' genius."
I smile. I wish. Gray hands me his cellphone and I quickly type out a message.
He's fine sleeping in here during the day when he naps, so it got me thinking about what's different, and the only thing is that there's no light. Maybe tomorrow we can get a nightlight for him?
"Definitely," he replies. "God, I fucking love you, honey. I swear, I don't know what I'd do without you."
He's struggling. We both are. But I'm trying not to show it. It's hard to go from being just us to having a baby to take care of also. But we're doing the best we can, and I know Gray is feeling pretty awful that he's unable to calm Tyson quickly like Preacher did.
You'd be doing this all by yourself and you'd be thriving. You're amazing with him, Gray. It's hard to adjust to having a child and I think he's missing Preacher.
"Yeah, he's not the only one," he murmurs.
Preacher arrived in Ireland and has seemingly spoken to every one of the brothers except for Gray. It's devastating to know that a man you trusted, someone you considered your brother, has cut you out. While I get that Preacher's hurting, Grayson is too. Calling Gray and speaking to him would benefit them all. Not to mention, it would also help Tyson. But we have to do as Preacher wants. He needs space and that's okay. I just wish he was here so we could all help him.
My mind is whirling as I think about all the things I need to buy to make this room comfortable for Tyson. It's beyond annoying that I'm still in my cast and have my jaw wired. It's not the best time for me to be down and out while we have Tyson to care for. Gray and I need to be a team and I feel useless. I'm not contributing to helping him as I can't move or talk. The only thing I'm able to do is hold, feed, and play with Tyson. I don't feel it's enough. It hurts that I'm unable to offer more, especially when I see Gray struggling.
I hear Grayson's soft snores and sigh. He needs to sleep, and I need to find a way to let him. I may not be able to walk, but I sure as fuck can use all my other limbs. I glance at the time and see that it's almost two a.m. I think about who'll still be awake and quickly send a text message to Rush. It doesn't even take him two minutes to reply, and when he does, he makes me smile.
Rush: It'll be with you in the morning. Go to sleep, Auntie Es. You need to rest.
If I could laugh, I would, but boy, I love that kid. He's so damn sweet and he's so damn bossy. He's taking his cues from Grayson, that's for sure.
Thank you. Goodnight.
I close my eyes, all the while smiling. Tomorrow, hopefully things will change.
* * *
"Hey, Auntie Es, you ready for your ride?" Rush says, and I laugh as I see him push the wheelchair into the room. "I've managed to get a few other bits that you'll need. So this is one that supports you keeping your leg outstretched. That way, Reap won't lose his mind. I have this baby carrier thing for you. Tavia said it's the best one the shop had."
He holds up the baby carrier and my heart melts. God, he went all out. I read over the instructions for the baby carrier.
"I think it goes like this," Rush says, demonstrating the exact way it goes, which tells me he's already practiced so he could show me. God, he's one of the sweetest guys ever. I'm lucky to have him in my life.
"You good to get in it yourself or do you need help?" he asks.
I wave him away. I need to start doing shit myself. He stands back and watches. I know that he's on hand if I need him. I use my good leg to balance as I grip my hands on the wheelchair. I'm able to pull myself off the bed and onto the wheelchair seat.
"Nicely done. Now what about Tyson? You able to lift him off the bed?" He's not asking to be an asshole. He wants to help and I appreciate that.
I reach for the carrier and place it on my lap, then I reach for Tyson, who giggles the moment I pick him up. Putting him into the baby carrier is a lot easier said than done. It takes me a few minutes to be able to sort it out, but when I do, it feels secure. Tyson rests his head on my chest.
"Look at you, you're a natural. What about wheeling yourself around?"
I once again wave him off as I reach for my cell and place it into the pocket of my shorts. I check to make sure Tyson is secure before I start to wheel myself out of the room. All the while Rush chuckles at me. "You know he's goin' to fuckin' kill me, don't you?"
I shrug. I needed to finally be able to do something. Being stuck in bed and only being able to go somewhere when someone is around is draining. I had to find a way around being off my feet, and thankfully, Rush is resourceful at getting things. I don't want to ask where he found this wheelchair because I have a feeling that it's stolen from a hospital or someplace similar.
