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I've begun doubting who I am and what I'm doing. I'm so damn tired, so downtrodden, I've lost sense of the fun woman I used to be. I no longer have the thrill of life.
Shoving the front door open, I'm met with the sounds of labored moaning. My stomach rolls at the sound. It's as though someone is filming an adult movie here. Whoever the hell it is, is over the top loud.
"Oh, Harry." I hear the familiar high-pitched voice, and my blood runs cold. I'm so fucking stupid. Beyond stupid. I creep through the house, my back ramrod straight, my jaw clenched, and my stomach rolling with every step that I take. The groans and grunts fill the air as I walk toward the bedroom. The room I have spent the past six years sharing with the man I once loved.
Pushing open the door, I find Julia on top of Harry, her head thrown back and her eyes closed as the two of them fuck. She's naked and soaked from sweat. His hands are exploring her body his lips hungrily covering hers.
I hate him. I knew he was turning the tables on me and making out as though I was crazy and jealous, when the entire time, I was right. I have no doubt in my mind that this isn't the first time he's cheated on me in our eight-year relationship, but it sure as hell is the last.
I release a fake loud cough and watch in amusement as they both still. It's Harry who reacts first. He pushes Julia off him and stares at me with wide eyes.
"Esme, this isn't what—" he says, his words stilted, his chest heaving as he doesn't pull his gaze from me.
"What it looks like," I finish for him. "Funny, it sure as hell looks like you were fucking my friend. Or ex-friend," I spit. "Whatever, I'm done. You two are welcome to each other."
I turn to move, needing to get the hell out of here.
"Esme, please," Harry pleads. The sound of his voice sets my teeth on edge.
I can't believe how foolish I was. I thought I had it all figured out. I loved him with my whole heart, and yet here he is trying to break me. He's taken away the person I used to be. But maybe now, I'll finally see who the real me is.
As I walk out of the bedroom, Julia calls to me.
"Esme, please, let me explain," she begs in a broken voice.
I whirl around, seeing her perched on the edge of my bed, covered by my sheets.
"You want me to listen? What do you have to explain?" I ask with a bitter laugh. "Explain how long you've been sleeping with my fiancé? How long has this been going on?"
"Two years," she says. Tears stream down her face as she silently begs for mercy, something she doesn't deserve. I catch Harry looking at her sternly, and it's enough to make Julia shrink back into herself. Her eyes plead for understanding, but there's no way I could sympathize with her betrayal after everything she's done. She'd been my confidant through it all, listening to me as I expressed my fears and all the while lying about where my fiancé truly was at night.
“I never meant for this to happen,” she pleads, her voice quivering as tears stream down her face. “But it did. We can get through this. I love him, Esme. Please forgive us.”
Harry moves from the bed and steps toward me, his pleading eyes locked on mine. His cock hangs limp between us, still covered in Julia’s juices, and my stomach churns with both rage and sorrow. How could they do this to me?
He takes another step closer, reaching out to grab my hand. “Please, baby, it was a mistake. It never should have happened. She means nothing to me—I just want you.”
My heart aches at his words. A part of me wants to believe he is sincere in his apology, but then I remember all the times he has said similar things before—all the times he has promised not to hurt me again only to do exactly what he had sworn not to do. And suddenly, my resolve hardens, and I shake my head.
“Don't bother," I spit out, my voice cold and bitter as I pull my arm from his grasp. "This is over. Get out of my life, out of our house, and out of my bed."
Julia sobs louder, begging for forgiveness, while Harry stares at me imploringly, but I don't let either of them sway me. With one final glare of disdain, I turn on my heel and march straight out the door.
There's one place I need to be. The only place I can go right now.
My best friend's house. Serenity Michaels is the best friend a girl could ever have. As much as she's hated Harry, she's always stood by my side and has been there for me throughout everything. She's working right now, but I have a key to her house. It's time for me to figure out what happens next.
The one thing I do know is that I'm so done with Harry. I won't be going back. It's time for a fresh start and I plan on doing exactly that.
I need to find myself again. I have to heal from the bullshit.
CHAPTER5
ESME
PRESENT DAY
“Are you doing okay?” Serenity asks me.
