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“Kelly could have a good reason for why she didn’t tell you. You haven’t even given her the chance to talk it out with you. What you really need to do is just talk to each other like adults,” she said.
They were heavy, impactful words, and I spent the rest of the time she was there tumbling them around in my head, trying to unravel them. After she left, I went into my living room and sat down, not wanting to climb back into bed until it was time to sleep. I sat down and tried my best to work out how I was going to handle everything. Of course, I needed to talk to Kelly. Before I could do that though, I had to find a way to let go of the anger. After that I could find out why she did what she did and see if we could salvage anything of our relationship and ever be more than just co-parents.
But, then again, all of it hinged on the DNA results.
30
Kelly
Darren never showed up to work on Monday, and I really wasn’t all that surprised to not see him on Tuesday, either. But Wednesday loomed large in front of me. I knew there was absolutely no way I was going to be able to avoid seeing him that day. It was a race night, which meant even if he was somehow able to get around being in the garage, I would still see him at the track.
Race days were always chaotic and extremely busy. I had only experienced one firsthand, but Vince’s assurance that they were all like that stuck with me, and I was sure he was right. That Wednesday was setting out to be even more out of control than the one before because skipping out on the first two days of the work week meant Darren didn’t have that time to perfect his bike and do the practice rounds he always did to make sure everything was right. Of course, that meant everything he would have done Monday and Tuesday had to be shoved into Wednesday morning.
I wasn’t looking forward to it. Gus and I were fine with each other, and it seemed Quentin and Vince were on board with a distant acceptance of each other, almost like a stalemate. I could live with that for now, but I had a strong feeling the interaction with Darren was going to be a bit different. When he walked into the garage, my heart jumped, and my mouth went dry. It was the first time I’d seen him since he left my apartment, and my response to him was immediate. I would want to say that reaction was purely frustration and even anger, but that wouldn’t be true. I was still strongly attracted to him, and my first instinct as soon as I saw him was to want to jump into his arms. Even if he was the one causing me the pain and upset, it was still him I wanted to look to for comfort and reassurance. It was an unsettling and unpleasant feeling, and I wanted it to go away as soon as possible.
We managed to work throughout the day without directly interacting with each other. We moved around each other and intervened with what the other was doing through other members of the team. Partway through the afternoon, Darren left the garage without giving any indication of where he was going. He was gone for longer than it would take him to just go get a cup of coffee or use the bathroom, and I was starting to feel frustrated, even put out by the idea he wasn’t working as hard anymore and was perfectly content piling extra work on top of me.
A few minutes later, he proved me wrong. Darren came back into the garage, this time helping Greg manage his crutches. He said a few encouraging words to us and talked about how much he wished he could be out on the track that night as well. It was fantastic to see him, and it gave us another boost of excitement and motivation, just like his last visit. This gave me the thought that Greg was now our mascot. The idea made me laugh, but the words never made it out of my mouth. There was no one to share it with, and I had to just keep my head down and keep doing my job. The only acknowledgement I got from Darren all day was one nod in my direction, and I didn’t respond to it. It was easier if I just did what he told me and stayed out of his way.
We loaded everything up into the trucks and headed to the racetrack. Just like last race, there was a tailgate party ahead of time, and Merry had arranged for a special appearance by Greg. I was sure there were plenty of fans who were overloaded with excitement at the idea of being able to meet him and talk about his accident. That felt exploitive, but Greg didn’t mind and even looked forward to being able to reach out to people who enjoyed seeing him race. But that also meant Darren would need to be at the party for longer so he could meet people and sign autographs the way he had before. Rather than going to the party this time, I went straight down to the track and started unloading the trucks. That’s when he finally came to talk to me.
