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CHAPTER9
Kuaket
Abrax tracedthe snake tattoo on my shoulder with a lazy finger. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the moment, thinking about how much more intimate it felt. More so than normal.
“You know, I think tonight’s the first time I’ve ever been in your living room. We normally spend our time in here.” He gestured up to the ceiling of my bedroom.
“I’ve never had sex in here before either,” I admitted.
“You haven’t?” His surprise came through his voice.
“Normally the bed works well enough,” I responded. “And I haven’t lived here that long. Three or four years, I think. It’s hard to keep track after a bit.”
“So tonight was a first?”
“Mmm. And I have so few of those left,” I quipped.
Abrax chuckled, the sound vibrating through me. “Any others I can help with?”
“Nope.” Because I still wasn’t the relationship type.
I didn’t think.
I pushed the thought aside. It didn’t matter that my head was full of confusing and conflicting thoughts about Abrax right now. Even if I decided that Ididwant something with him, which I didn’t, it wasn’t actually possible considering our diametrically opposing views.
“I like my life the way it is.” I didn’t realise I was going to say the words out loud until they were in the open.
“I hate mine.”
I shifted positions so I could look at him better, my heart hurting a little at the pained expression on his face. “What?”
I didn’t think he was going to say anything else, but then he sighed and laid back on the bed. “With the Sons of Seth, I hate it. I took an assignment just so I could live outside the compound, and it’s only ended up with me hating it even more.”
“I had no idea.”
He shrugged. “I guess we’ve never really talked about personal stuff.”
“We don’t have to, if you don’t want. We can just...” I trailed my hand down his chest, giving him an easy out if he wanted one despite the fact I was curious.
I guessed I didn’t really mind which option he took.
He caught my hand before it slipped under the blanket, giving me the answer even without saying any words. Was it strange that I knew him well enough to recognise that?
“I don’t really know how to talk about this though,” Abrax said.
“I could ask questions?” I suggested.
Abrax thought about it for a moment, then gave a small nod.
Great. My suggestion was a good one, but I didn’t actually have a list prepared. “Why did you join the Sons of Seth?” It was the only thing I could think of that might start the conversation he clearly wanted to have.
“I should have expected that one,” he responded.
“You don’t have to tell me.”
“I know.” He rubbed a hand over his face. Even if he hadn’t said that he wasn’t sure how to talk about this, I’d have known that it was the first time from his body language. He clearly had no idea how to talk about any of this. I wished I could make it easier.
“I was seventeen and the recruiter who found me said that I could have magic and a place to stay. I laughed at him at first. But then I ended up agreeing anyway,” he said.
