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“I’m here.”
A couple tries to walk past us, but we’re standing in the middle of the walkway, so Lincoln pulls me to the side to get out of everyone’s way. I’m not sure where Raelyn is, but I’m assuming she’s made herself scarce.
“Everything okay?” I ask.
“What?” His brows crease in confusion, but then he must remember because he says, “Yeah, just a work thing. All part of owning a business.”
I nod, and then we stand here, Lincoln’s body pressed against mine, our faces only inches apart. I can practically feel the sexual tension rolling off us in waves, but I don’t know what to do, what to say. A moment ago, I was telling Raelyn I couldn’t do this and was ready to leave. But now, at the feel of Lincoln’s body melding into mine, our gazes locked and filled with desire, all my previous thoughts have evaporated.
I want Lincoln. I want to be with him, even if it’s just once. I want to know what it feels like to be with a man by choice, a man I’m sexually attracted to. He’s the only man—aside from Micah, who’s like an older brother to me—that I trust, and I want him to be the first person I freely give myself to. I might not be a virgin because of what those men did to me, but I’ll never consider them my firsts.
They took what wasn’t offered.
I want to give myself willingly to Lincoln.
And I know if I don’t do it now, in this club, where I have anonymity on my side, it’s never going to happen.
“Do you want?—?”
“Would you?—?”
We both speak at the same time and then laugh at the awkwardness.
“You go first,” he murmurs, his lips so close to mine I can smell the smoky scent of the whiskey he was drinking earlier.
“I was going to ask if...” I swallow nervously. I can do this. The worst thing he can say is no.
“If...” he prompts.
“I was wondering if you’d like to join me in a backroom.”
His eyes light up. “How do you know about the backrooms?”
Oh, shit. Fuck. Why is he asking me this? Wouldn’t every member know about the amenities offered at the club they’re a part of?
“I heard someone mention it,” I lie, praying he doesn’t hear the shakiness in my voice.
He nods slowly. “Must’ve been a VIP. The backrooms aren’t available to everyone yet,” he explains. “You know what they’re for, right?”
“Yes,” I breathe, lifting my leg slightly and rubbing my knee against his groin to let him know how serious I am about this. Even though we’re wearing masks, and he obviously doesn’t recognize me, being in a dark room will help to ensure that he never does.
Lincoln groans softly, and his eyes burn bright with want. “You sure you’re ready for that?”
No.“Yes.” I reach out and tug slightly on the top of his dress shirt. “I want you.”
“There’s something you need to know first. I’m not looking for anything more than one night. What we do in that room is all I can offer you, so if you’re looking for more, I’m not the man for you.”
I already know this about him. I’ve heard his conversations with his brother and my sister countless times about not wanting to settle down. He’s told them if he meets the right woman, he’s not opposed to it, but he’s not willing to simplysettle. So, instead of wasting the woman’s time, he makes it clear that he’s not looking for anything more than sex. That way she won’t be hurt when he walks away—and he always walks away.
“Good,” I tell him. “Because that’s all I want with you.”
He stares at me for several beats, his eyes searching for something...what? I don’t know. But when it seems he’s found whatever it is he’s looking for, he nods once and then takes my hand in his, pulling me down the hall.
And as I follow behind, with my heart beating fiercely in my chest, I say a prayer to whatever sex god is up there that I can get through this. Because if I can’t...Fuck, I don’t even want to think about how that will go down.
CHAPTER SIX
ELLIE
