Page 20 of A Risk Worth Taking


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“No,” I cut her off. “Not this month. Last month. I got it in the beginning of February, but it never came in March, and now it’s April, and I always get it the day after you. Always.” Our cycles synced halfway through our freshman year of college and ever since they have always been the same.

Her eyes widen, catching on. “You don’t think...You used protection, right?”

“No, we didn’t. Oh my God, Rae. I’m so stupid. I didn’t even think about it. I’m not on birth control because I wasn’t sexually active, and deep down, I knew regardless of how many guys I attempted to have sex with, I couldn’t follow through with it.”

“But you had sex with Lincoln...”

“Three times with no protection.”

“Why the hell wouldn’t he use protection?” she shrieks.

“I don’t know. I don’t know how it all works...” Which, in hindsight, was irresponsible of me. “But I do know that every member has to submit a clean bill of health, and women have to show proof that they’re on birth control.”

I know a little of how Elite is run because I grew up around it. I might not have been in the actual sex club, but I would overhear the adults talking when I would go to Wanderlust, where my sister once worked as a stripper.

“I wasn’t thinking,” I say out loud. “I was so focused on simply trying to get past my shit, I didn’t think about it. And now...” I glance at Raelyn.

“You might be pregnant,” she finishes for me.

“According to the doctor, Iampregnant, and the reason why I felt nauseous and dizzy and blacked out is because I have pregnancy anemia, caused by an iron deficiencyin pregnant women.”

Her eyes widen in shock. “Oh, shit.”

Oh, shit, is right. If the doctor is correct, I’m pregnant...with Lincoln’s baby.

Whoosh,whoosh, whoosh.

Spoiler alert: The doctor was right—I’m pregnant!

I stare at the screen as the ultrasound tech explains that based on my measurements, I’m seven weeks along, and my estimated due date is November twenty-first. Raelyn is holding my hand, and neither of us have said a single word. I think we’re both in utter shock. It’s one thing to talk about me being pregnant, but it’s a whole other to see the fluttering heartbeat on the screen.

But for me, it’s more than just shock. I’ve never known what it feels like to fall in love. For your heart to be completely owned by someone else. As I stare at the little blob on the screen, I’ve finally fallen...Because my heart has left my chest and now belongs to the baby in my belly.

“What are you going to do?” Raelyn asks once Dr. Gerard has finished discharging me—leaving me with a prescription for prenatal vitamins, an iron supplement, and a recommendation for an OBGYN.

“I don’t know,” I tell her honestly.

“If you don’t want to have the baby...”

At her words, my hand flies to my stomach protectively. Growing up, my mother never once protected me. Every day I was around her, I was put in horrible situations, and even in her death, she put me in harm’s way. If it weren’t for Sienna taking care of and protecting me, I can’t imagine what my life would’ve looked like. Even when I didn’t listen to her and put myself in danger, she literally risked everything in order to save me.

“This baby might not have been planned, but he will be loved and protected by me,” I tell her. “He will grow up knowing whatit feels like to have a mother who cares and would do anything for him. I might not be perfect, but I have the money and means to take care of him, and I will love him with everything in me.”

Him...I’m having a son. The gender was revealed in the bloodwork, and I wanted to know. The more prepared I am, the better.

“I keep hearing you talk aboutyou, but not once have you mentioned the father,” Raelyn points out. “Does that mean you’re no longer going home to tell him that you’re the woman he’s been searching for?”

I shake my head, my heart sinking at the thought. “I can’t do it,” I tell her. “I’m going to eventually tell him. I would never keep him from his son, but I messed up badly and can’t go home like this. He thought he was having sex with a member of the club who was on birth control. He trusted the woman he was with, and she broke that trust.Ibroke that trust.”

“So, what are you going to do?”

“I’m going to graduate and spend the summer here. I have until the end of November to figure out how to handle this situation. But I’m not going to force Lincoln to be in this baby’s life. He didn’t ask for this, and he shouldn’t be punished for my choices.”

“I wish I could stay,” she says softly, “but?—”

“Stop, you have an amazing job waiting for you when we graduate.” She was hired by a prestigious dance company in Chicago where her family lives. It’s literally her dream job. “You have to go. I get it. Luckily, since I own the condo that we live in, I can stay for however long I want.”

When my bio dad—Eleazar—died, I inherited his entire fortune. After selling off everything, and donating all the blood money, I was left with a little over two hundred million dollars. Those who know me don’t understand why I even bothered going to college. Originally it was because I wanted to major indance therapy, but when I got here, I wasn’t in the right mindset to take classes that would force me to analyze human behaviors—especially since I can barely handle my own on a good day—so I changed my major to dance and spent the past four years dancing my way through school while hiding from my past and home.

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