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Ellie flinches. “I pretended to be Sienna.”
Jesus, I scrub my hands over my face. This is so messed up. But it also makes sense as to why I couldn’t find my mystery woman in the system. And since Sienna is family, not a member, the bouncer would’ve let her in without scanning her card.
“You’re telling me you snuck into my sex club by pretending to be your sister, sought me out, and had sex with me, knowing who I was?”
She nods. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re sorry?” I bark out a humorless laugh. “You’re sorry? Did you think this was funny? Some kind of joke?” I get in her face, my body vibrating in anger. “Did you fuck me with the hope of getting pregnant? Huh? Did you do this on purpose?” The tears that had filled her lids, spill over, but she doesn’t answer me, and I need answers because this is bad, really fucking bad. “Answer me! Did you?—?”
“Stop it!” Sienna suddenly appears and pushes me back. “Stop yelling at my sister. Can’t you see she’s upset?”
I bark out another laugh, wondering if I’m dreaming...No, screw that, having a nightmare. Because there’s no way any of this can be real.
“You’re worried about me upsetting her?” I say, glaring at Sienna. “She pretended to be you to get into my club and then seduced me, so I’d have sex with her without knowing who she was.”
Sienna gasps and glances at Ellie. “Is that true?”
“No,” Ellie sobs. “I mean, it is, but it wasn’t like that.” Her cries get harder, and I want to feel bad, but fuck that, she did this. And now her decisions have consequences. “I just wanted to have sex,” she blurts out. “I mean...” Sobs now rack Ellie’s body as she tries to get words out, but she’s crying too hard. Sienna sits next to her sister and wraps her arm around her, comforting her.
“El, talk to us, please,” Sienna pleads. “Did you try to get pregnant with Lincoln’s baby?”
“No,” Ellie chokes out. “I just wanted to know what it would feel like to be with someone by choice. Someone who makes me feel safe. Someone I trust.” She glances up at me. “I’m sorry. I tried so many times to have sex with other guys, but I couldn’t do it, and Raelyn said it’s because I didn’t trust them. I didn’t believe her, but I was desperate to feel good. To take away the images and pain...”
As she explains herself, my thoughts go back to our night together. What she said to me...She wanted to replace the bad experience with a good one. She wanted me to make her feel good. At the time, I thought she meant she had shitty sex, but now...
“I was raped,” she says, just as the same thought hits me. “When Arielle took me, she allowed the guards to rape me.” Her body trembles, and my fists clench at my sides, wishing all those fuckers were still alive, so I could slowly torture and kill them one by one.
“It was horrible, and it hurt so much,” Ellie murmurs. “And every time a guy touches me, the memories resurface.” She locks eyes with me. “Until you.”
Fuck.
“Oh my God,” Sienna breathes, holding her sister. “Why didn’t you tell me? You’ve been keeping this to yourself all these years?”
“I couldn’t tell you,” Ellie mutters. “You told me not to go, and I didn’t listen. It was my fault, and you were pregnant with London and almost lost her. You were bleeding and were nearly killed because of me. You would’ve felt responsible, and I couldn’t let you shoulder that blame.”
It all makes sense now. The way Ellie clung to me the day I saved her from the warehouse. We thought we got there justin time, but the fact is, we were too late. The damage had been done. Sure, they were alive, and we blew up the warehouse, killing everyone involved, but we had no idea that Ellie, only fifteen years old, had been raped. She hadn’t told a soul.
“Oh, El.” Sienna starts to cry. “Is that why you moved away?”
Ellie nods into her sister’s chest. “I couldn’t be here, with all the memories of that day...And I couldn’t tell you. So, I ran to California.”
Sienna always questioned why Ellie never dated after that day, why she was so quiet, and when she announced that she was moving to the West Coast, Sienna hadn’t understood why. But now, all the pieces of the puzzle fit together.
“But none of what happened excuses what I did.” Ellie pulls away from Sienna and focuses her attention on me. “I messed up. I wanted to be intimate with someone I could trust, someone I knew wouldn’t hurt me, would be gentle and treat me right, so I could move forward. I honestly didn’t even think it would happen, and when it did, I figured we would go our separate ways and you’d be none the wiser.”
“Only you weren’t on birth control,” I add, “and we didn’t use protection.”
My thoughts go back to that night. The talking, the touching, the kissing. How perfect it felt being inside of her without a condom. I came inside her several times without thought.
She nods. “And I got pregnant.”
“Were you going to tell me?” I ask, remembering that Micah said I should take responsibility, as if he assumed I knew and wasn’t going to own up to what Ellie and I created. Holy shit, we created a baby. I can’t believe this is happening. One minute, I was desperate to find my mystery woman, and the next, I discover she’s Ellie, who is pregnant with my baby.
“Of course,” she says. “I just needed some time to figure it all out. I was raised by a mom who didn’t want me, and Sienna’sdad didn’t want her. The last thing I want is for this baby to ever feel unwanted.” She stands, and when her fingers splay across her abdomen, I notice a tiny but noticeable bump. “I know this is my fault,” she says, sniffling back her tears. “You went into that room thinking I was a member of the club who was on birth control. This baby is not your fault, and I won’t force you to be in his life.”
“His?” I ask.
She nods. “There was an issue, and I had to go to the hospital...”
