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“Because despite knowing who the mystery woman is, I still want her.”
Micah’s eyes widen in understanding. “Fuck.”
“Yeah,” I agree. “Fuck.”
“You know you can’t have her, though, right?” he states matter-of-factly, giving me a look that says it’s non-negotiable, that being with Ellie is off the table. A look that has me wanting to argue but knowing I can’t because she’s Sienna’s little sister, Micah’s sister-in-law. And he’s my brother. But more than that, he’s my best friend, and I’d never do anything to mess up our relationship. Which means, Ellie is completely off-limits.
“Yeah, I know,” I say, scrubbing my hands over my face. “She’s off-limits.” And doesn’t that just fucking suck. Knowing the woman I want is right there, within my reach, knowing the way she tastes, smells, feels, and also knowing I can never have her again.
CHAPTER TWELVE
ELLIE
“You knowI’m here to talk any time,” Sienna says, taking a seat next to me on the couch. “Even if you just need someone to listen. I’m not going to judge, and no matter what you say, I won’t get upset.”
It’s been two days since my truth bombs exploded all over everyone. Lincoln left, Micah went after him, and Sienna gave me my space when I excused myself to cry.
She’s been bringing me my meals since I’ve refused to get out of bed, but today is Mother’s Day, and Sienna deserves to be spoiled. So instead of hiding myself away, I woke up early with my nieces, Brooklyn and London, and we made Sienna breakfast in bed. The girls surprised her with the most adorable cards and homemade gifts, and Micah bought her jewelry.
Normally, they would go to Micah’s parents’ place for brunch, but since Donna and Michael are vacationing in Europe, we spent the morning and early afternoon hanging by the pool. Now, the girls are napping, and Micah excused himself to handle some business, leaving Sienna and me alone.
“I know,” I say with a forced smile. “And I appreciate that, but I don’t want to put you in the middle of this mess.”
“I already am,” she says, reaching over and squeezing my hand gently. “We’re family, and we’ll get through this together. What happened to you...” Tears fill her eyes, but she quickly swipes them away. “I’m sorry. I told myself I’d keep it together, but I just can’t even imagine...Have you talked to someone? A professional?”
“Yeah, though, probably not as consistently as I should. It just feels like by talking about it, I’m forcing myself to relive the trauma, and all I want is to move on.”
“I get that, but maybe in order to move on, you need to face what happened to you in the past. Like how you faced having sex.”
My thoughts go back to the night with Lincoln and how, despite him not knowing what I was going through, he helped me face my fears head on. That night was better than I could’ve ever imagined my first time would be. The way he touched and caressed and?—
“What’s going through your head?” Sienna asks, pulling me from my thoughts.
“I think you’re right. Facing my issue with sex head on worked, so maybe I should give speaking to someone another try.” I’ve told myself so many times I would do it, but now, I need to actually put forth the effort. In a few months, I’m going to become a mother, and it’s important that I’m the best version of myself.
“Speaking of which...” Sienna smirks and edges a bit closer. “How was it?” she whispers.
“How was what?”
“You know.” Her cheeks tint a light shade of pink and she waggles her brows. It takes me a second, but once I catch on to what she’s asking, I bark out a laugh.
“Are you asking me how Lincoln was in bed?”
“Well, yeah.” She shrugs. “I mean, you don’t have to get into the details, but we missed out on this. The girl talk.” Tears fill her lids, and she smiles a watery smile, and I pull her into a tight hug, needing to be close to her. Sienna is right. We missed out on a lot because of what happened and because I ran. But I’m back home now, so I’m going to do everything in my power to make it up to her.
“It was good,” I murmur as we break apart. “Really freaking good. So good, I have no idea how I’m going to be with someone else in the future and not compare them to Lincoln.”
Sienna chuckles. “It’s the Alexander genes. They’re good at everything. It really isn’t fair.”
“What are we good at?” Micah asks, as he strolls into the living room.
“Sex.” Sienna giggles.
Micah’s jaw tenses, his eyes going dark. “Ellie,” he says, his tone serious. “You know nothing will ever come of you and Lincoln again, right? He’s too old for you. What you did...” He sighs, and his expression slightly softens. “I get it. I don’t agree with how you handled it, but you’re young and you’ve been through so much?—”
“Wait a second,” Sienna cuts in. “Are you saying that Lincoln and Ellie can’t be together?”
“That’s exactly what I’m saying,” Micah says.
