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Once I’m naked, he gently rolls on top of me, and our eyes meet. “I’m going to do what I did before,” he says. “I want you to keep your eyes open and on me, and if you can’t handle it, you have to tell me. Okay?”
“Okay,” I breathe, a mixture of nervousness and excitement making my heart kick into overdrive. I’ve heard anal play can feel good, but since my experience was beyond painful, I never planned to find out. Now, with Lincoln, I want to see how good it can be. Everything we’ve done thus far has only brought me the best type of pleasure, and I have no doubt, he’ll make this good too. I just have to hope I can stay in the moment with him.
“Focus on me,” he says, noticing that I’m already lost in my own head. He kisses his way down my body, his eyes never leaving mine, and then spreads my thighs wide. Instead of going to my butt like he did last time, he focuses on my pussy, giving it attention until I’m dripping wet and begging for release. Then, he adds two fingers while massaging my clit, and I fly high onto the most amazing cloud of bliss.
Before I can come down from my high, my legs are pushed back, just like last time—only my eyes are on Lincoln’s as he does it, so I know it’s coming, allowing me to stay in the moment, in this room, in this bed, with him.
With his gaze never leaving mine, he dips his chin and makes a show of licking the juices that dripped down, his tongue gliding from the bottom of my ass and stopping once he’s reached my pussy. Instinctually, I tighten my anus, the feeling foreign, but I don’t freak out.
Lincoln continues to lick me from bottom to top, his tongue caressing and massaging my hole and then working its way to my clit. Every time his tongue ascends, he shifts my lower body downward, and when his tongue descends, it’s shifted upward, creating a rhythm.
Up. Swipe. Lick. Suck. Down. Massage. Repeat.
Little by little, the past is replaced with the present.
Pain.Pleasure.
Screams.Moans.
Fear.Trust.
“That’s it,” he murmurs. “I can feel your orgasm. Come for me, Kitten.”
Another swipe. Another Lick. One more suck. And my body detonates. The orgasm is so strong, my hips lift off the bed, and my legs tremble. Lincoln keeps me grounded, and when I’ve finally caught my breath and sit up, I feel like I’ve won yet another battle against my past.
When I scoot back, needing to clean up, a huge wet circle on the sheet catches my attention. Oh, God. Did I...?
“It’s not urine,” Lincoln says, as if he can hear my thoughts. “That’s from you coming twice.” He smirks, clearly happy with himself for making me do that, and I refuse to be embarrassed.
“I need to shower,” I tell him, sliding off the bed while avoiding the spot—I’ll deal with that after I’m clean.
When Lincoln makes no move to join me, I take his hand in mine and try to pull him off the bed, but he shakes his head, not budging. “I already showered before I came to find you in the living room.”
“Fine, then.” I grab his crotch that’s sporting a hard-on. “I’ll just have to dirty you up, so you’ll be more inclined to get clean with me.”
His hazel eyes widen, taken off guard since I’ve yet to give him head. The truth is, I’ve never given anyone head. Never wanted to.
“Ellie,” Lincoln says softly, pulling me toward him. Because he’s sitting and I’m standing, I have to glance down at him. “You don’t have to do that. If you want me to shower with you, I’d be more than happy to do so.”
“I’ve never done it before,” I admit. “But I want to, so you’ll have to help me since I’m sure you know exactly how you like it.”
He searches my eyes for the truth in them, and when he sees that despite me being nervous, I truly mean it, he releases a sigh and nods. “Okay, but if at any point?—”
“I’ll stop and tell you,” I finish.
Lincoln leans back and spreads his legs slightly. “I’m all yours,” he says with a twinkle of mischief in his eyes. “Just don’t bite and we’ll be good.”
When I flinch, his eyes cut into thin slits. “Talk to me.”
“When I was raped, I never stopped kicking and screaming. I refused to accept what they were doing to me. One guy practically shoved it down my throat and began fucking my mouth, but I refused to accept what he was doing to me, so I bit down and drew blood. He slapped me so hard that I was flung across the room, but at least nobody else tried after that.”
Lincoln’s jaw tightens, and despite him saying he wants to hear everything that happened to me, I worry that I shouldn’t have said anything.
“Good,” he says, his tone dark. “If those assholes were still alive, I’d torture them until they begged for death.”
“Knowing they were dead is how I got through many nights.” I step toward him and reach out, pressing my palm to his heart.His body is like a work of art—chiseled and toned and perfectly tan. “I don’t want to think about them. I want to forget. I want to move forward and live my best life with you”—I press my other hand to the curve of my belly since I’m still naked—”and our baby. I spent years fighting for my broken pieces to heal, and thanks to you, they’re finally doing just that.”
I glide my hand down the hard ridges of his abs and stop where his happy trail meets the waistband of his pants. “I want to taste you, just like you tasted me.” I pull his pants down, and he lifts slightly, helping me push them down his muscular thighs. “I want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.” I kneel between his legs. “I want to replace another horrible memory with a good one.”
