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Ready to do battle, I opened the patio’s gate and stalked over to him. When my eyes met his, my own pain was reflected in them. All the fire, along with the fight, drifted away.
“Will someone be joining you?” I asked like he had the first night I met him.
“I hope you are,” he responded, quoting my exact words.
“You remember. I’m surprised.”
“I told you before; I remember everything, Emerson.”
“I left London the next day. Not because of you or us or whatever. My father called to tell me that my brother had overdosed.”
He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the table. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
“Thank you. That was a long time ago.”
“Three years,” he said.
“Look, Lynx…Lennox…I don’t know what to call you…”
“Lynx is fine.”
“You didn’t let me finish earlier. Tommy and I…Saint, we…”
I stopped talking when it looked like he was ready to get up and leave a second time. Instead, when he reached across the table and took my hand in his, I had to turn away.
“Emerson, please look at me.”
A boulder of sadness settled on my chest, and I knew what was coming.
“The night you and I shared was something I’ve already told you I’ll never forget. But that’s what it was, one night. While I would dearly love to recreate what I believe you enjoyed as much as I did, I’m here to do a job. I hope you can understand my predicament.”
For the briefest of moments, I was sure I was going to cry. Instead, I squared my shoulders. “I’m relieved because, as you know, Tommy is someone who means a lot to me. I’d hate for you to think there was any chance of us ‘recreating’ that night.”
His unwavering eyes bored into mine, and I found myself wishing I could read his mind like he always seemed to read mine.
“It’s really late.” I stood and pushed my chair under the table.
“Did you want to stay for a drink?” he asked.
“No. I have an early day tomorrow, but thank you.”
It was allI could do to keep my head held high, cross Boylston, and rush into my building. Thank God, Lynx didn’t offer to walk with me. As soon as I was inside the elevator, the door closed, and I felt it move, I let go. The tears I’d held in all day came streaming out.
It was after one in the morning, and when I was exhausted, I always cried easily, but this was different. This wasn’t a tired cry; this was a breaking-heart cry. Which was silly. How could my heart be breaking over a man I thought I’d never see again? Yes, of course I’d thought about him. Fantasized about him. Dreamed about him. But I’d never dreamed I’d see him again.
When my alarmwent off at seven, I was still wide awake. I dreaded going into the office today, even though I wasn’t sure Lynx would be there. Maybe he had no reason to be, but then Paxon had said there was information they needed from me and now that I knew who they both really were, it would make it easier on all three of us.
I dragged my tired butt into the bathroom, avoiding the mirror until after I got out of the shower. Even then, the person I saw looked as haggard as I imagined I would.
The notion of calling off sick to head down the Cape and spend a couple of days with my parents was a fleeting thought until I remembered that Tommy was missing. No, I had to go into the office, and not only that, I needed to be in top form. I wasn’t even close. If there was a bottom form, that’s what I was in.
I was still standing in my bathroom in nothing but a towel, staring at my reflection, when I heard a knock at my door. I dropped the towel, grabbed my bathrobe from behind the door, and ran over to check the peephole. I took a deep breath before I stood on my tiptoes, all the while praying Lynx wasn’t the one knocking. My prayers were answered when I saw Paxon instead. What was the saying? Be careful what you wish for?
I pulled the sash on my robe tighter and opened the door a crack.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, immediately feeling like a complete shit when I saw he had coffee and bagels from my favorite place. “Sorry,” I muttered, opening the door wide enough for him to come inside.
“Lynx is on his way over too,” he said, not attempting to hide the fact that he was looking me up and down.
