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Henry snuggles sleepily against my chest as he looks up at him. “Molly wants to marry you. She talks about it all the time.”
Michael’s eyes widen and before he can hide it, there’s hope there too.
I manage a smile. “It’s true, actually. She does. I’ll tell her you’re waiting.”
Tears spring to my eyes as I walk inside. My fairy tale is ending, but maybe Molly’s will begin in its place.
Henry’s too sleepy to eat more than a bite or two. I rinse him off, and Jeremy and I tuck the twins in—both of us still too shell-shocked for it to seem weird. He’s quiet and respectful and walks downstairs without being told to leave.
“Lucie,” he says, his voice rough as we reach the door, “they can’t keep living here. This isn’t me trying to control you, but my God, I never want to go through a night like this again. I’ll pay for it. I saw a rental over in Idlewild. Nothing fancy but nicer than this. If you’re interested, go take a look. I’ll pay for the next year, and we’ll figure it out after that.”
I nod, trying to hold myself together. “Yeah, okay. I’ll call tomorrow.”
He opens the door. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry about all of this. Let’s try to clean up our shit for them, yeah?”
Under other circumstances, I’d be inclined to say it’s notourshit that needs to be cleaned up, but that inclination ofmine to argue all the time probably isn’t helping either. “Yeah, okay.”
He leaves, and I go upstairs and stare at Henry, unable to shake off the terror of the last few hours. Unable to forget every image that carved itself into my head while we waited for news—his body, face down in the lake; him shivering in the woods overnight, or wandering, calling for me, getting more and more lost with each second that passed.
There’s no version of this story where the ultimate blame isn’t on my shoulders: I left him with Abby, and I allowed him to count on someone who told me at the outset he couldn’t be what we needed. I didn’t listen to Caleb because I didn’t want to hear what he said...but I’m listening now.
The twins are sound asleep, and I’m still sitting next to Henry in bed when Caleb texts to say he’s waiting on the back deck.
What happened tonight wasn’t his fault, but I’m too raw for any conversation we are likely to have—one that will probably involve some weak apology on his part accompanied by the reminder that he told me he didn’t have time for this.
I find him outside pacing. His gaze flickers to Jeremy’s sweatshirt, which I never removed. Jesus, as if that could possibly matter right now.
“Is he okay?” he asks, but the question sounds like a formality.Business Calebasking the polite thing to get it out of the way.
I hug my arms around me. “Yes. He’s fine.”
He swallows, hands in pockets, staring at the deck. “I’m sorry if it bothered Henry that I wasn’t around,” he says stiffly. The words are flat and reluctant—it’s the apology of someone who doesn’t think he should have to offer it.
“Are you?” I ask. “Because you don’t sound sorry.”
His jaw shifts. “Look, I told you when this began that I’m trying to make this merger happen—”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Stop. Just stop. You’re right.You told me you didn’t have a lot of time. But this has been the worst night of my life, and I don’t need to hear you justify the fact that you made a promise to my son you didn’t keep.”
“So you’re blaming me,” he says, and my stomach sinks. I still haven’t recovered from watching a boat dredge the lake for my son—I’m not sure I willeverrecover from it entirely—and I can accept that it’s my fault. But Caleb’s defensiveness isreallypoorly timed. “I’m not blaming you for anything.”
A vein throbs in his temple. “I think you were expecting something from me that I just can’t give.”
“I’m not expecting anything from you, believe me,” I retort. “And we’re moving, so allow that to ease any lingering fears about ourexpectations.”
“Moving?” he repeats blankly. It’s the first thing I’ve said that seems to have knocked a brick out of this wall he’s suddenly got up. “Where?”
“Some place Jeremy saw in Idlewild. He said he’d pay our rent for a year, so I agreed. This house is too old, and the yard isn’t fenced. We can’t keep living here.”
His eyes narrow. “Oh, you andJeremyagreed? Suddenly he’s the good guy?”
“Do you have any idea what we just went through?” I demand, my voice cracking. The agony of the entire night is catching up with me at once, compressed into a single moment. “I don’t give ashitwhere we go or who found it for us. I need to make sure my kids are safe.”
“He’s playing you,” Caleb snaps. “How can you not see this? He’s been awful to you and them for years, but one little thing and it’s all good?”
I take a small step back.One little thing? Are you fucking kidding me?
Caleb’s failure to grasp what occurred tonight, how devastating it was, is this whole situation in a nutshell. When you love someone deeply and you nearly lose them, everything elseis so fucking trivial that you’re shocked it could ever matter to you in the first place. Jeremy, for all his flaws, managed to put everything aside—his grudges and selfishness, the squabbling—when Henry went missing. Caleb isn’t able to do the same.
