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He moves here to start construction on his outdoor gym at the end of the month. I’ve found investors, and the financials look really good at this point. Whether it works out or not, I’m just glad he’s getting to take his shot, to make his own choices.
And I’m glad he wants to make them with me.
“An entire weekend where neither of us is working?” I yawn and press my ass toward him. “I can’t imagine how we’ll spend the time. Actually, yes, I can.”
“I’ve got a better idea,” he says against my ear, his voice low and rough.
“Anal?”
He laughs. “No. Butlikeanal, it’s something people are scared to try, but like once they give it a chance.”
I roll toward him, biting down on a smile. “Bondage?”
“Jesus.” He huffs a silent laugh. “I thoughtIhad the one-track mind.”
I groan. “Okay, what’s this completely-not-related-to-sex thing you think we should try? It already sounds boring, by the way.”
“Marriage.”
The room is suddenly silent. I swear to God, even the traffic outside must have come to a halt and the birds have stopped singing. Because we’ve talked about the topicsI’vesuggested plenty, but this one is entirely new.
It’s not that I don’t want it, but it was only months ago that I was the girl at Kent’s house wondering whether she could still do a line of coke, months since I was having lunch with Lucie’s ex-husband simply out of bitterness.
I sort of thought he’d want more proof that I was okay before he brought this up.
“Marriage. You mean . . . between the two ofus?”
“No, Kate. Between you and the guy in 21B with the oxygen tank. Because you’re so nurturing, and he looks like he’s got money.”
I elbow him. “But, I mean,today?”
He frowns. “I didn’t peg you for the type who’d want a bunch of showers and eighteen bridesmaids. We could be in Vegas by this afternoon.”
I stare at his chest. “I just...are you sure?”
His hand moves to my chin, tipping it up so I have to meet his gaze. “Are you asking ifI’msure or are you asking ifyou’resure?”
I run my index finger down his nose. God, I love his perfect nose. His dark eyes. That lopsided grin. I want to marry him so much it hurts. “You. I guess I just thought you’d want to wait a while.”
He presses his lips to the top of my head. “I’ve wanted to marry you since I first saw you years ago. Why the fuck would I want to wait?”
I hesitate. I don’t want to accidentally remind him of the reasons he should be cautious, but I also need to know that he’s really thought it through.
“To make sure I’m okay. To make sure I’m really...the girl you fell in love with the first time.”
His smile is wistful. “You’re never going to be that girl again. You’re never going to be the person who thought nothing could beat her and nothing could go wrong, but that’s okay. It’s better that you’re not. We were kids then, and we aren’t now. When you realize you can actually lose the things you love, you treasure them a little more.”
Which reminds me, of course, of the only thing I’ve ever loved aside from him.
I can’t meet his gaze. “We’ve never talked about children.”
He pulls me closer, pressing my head to his bare chest. “I know you’re scared, after what happened. I hope you’ll consider trying again, but if you can’t, that’s okay too.”
“Of course I want children. I just didn’t know if you’d want them...with me.” I raise my chin, scared that I’ll see some part of him that isn’t sure.
“I don’t want them with anyone but you,” he says against my mouth. “When you’re ready, I am too.”
I swallow hard at that telltale pinch behind my eyes. Jesus, I’ve turned into such a fucking crybaby of late, but a child...It’s what I’ve quietly longed for, no matter how perfect things are with Beck.
