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It’s a promise he really can’t make, but my heart swells anyway. His kindness has always come as a surprise. He is the gruffest, the most frightening one in his entire friend group, yet he’s always been far better to me than I could possibly deserve.
I just hope he doesn’t hate me when everything I’ve planned comes to pass.
11
BECK
On Tuesday night the guys all come in, since it’ll be slow enough that we can hang out a little. These get-togethers used to be a weekly thing, but they’re less frequent now that everyone is so busy, and I wish we could have skipped tonight’s too—the longer Kate stays with me, the worse I feel about keeping Caleb in the dark. I never set out planning to deceive him to this extent—I figured Kate would take off once she saw Caleb was serious about the divorce. And Caleb and I have been texting every goddamn day about the 49ers preseason games, so it’s going to be hard to justify my silence, if it all comes out.
Liam is the first to arrive. He takes a seat at the bar and is immediately eyeing me a little too closely, like a bloodhound who’s just picked up a scent.
I slide him a beer. “What’s with the face?”
He leans back, arms folded across his chest. “I could say the same to you. You look like you’re waiting for test results. Have you heard from Kate?”
I’d demand to know why he thinksI’dhave heard from her, but I guess we already established that the last time he was here.
I rub the back of my neck. “Yeah, I’ve heard from her. She needed a place to stay.”
He lets out a heavy breath. “Fuck, dude. You didn’t.”
I was sort of hoping he’d tell me it wasn’t a big deal. “It’s just temporary.”
He shakes his head. “Are you sleeping with her?”
I set the pitcher in my hand down with a thud. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Of course not.”
He laughs under his breath. “Let’s not pretend it’s yourhigh moralsthat kept that from happening.”
Am I pissed because I’m offended? Or because he’s right? “Fuck you, Liam. She’s still married to one of my closest friends. I can’t believe you’d even suggest it.”
“You’ve definitely thought about it,” he says.
I start scrubbing down the bar more vigorously than is necessary. “Every man who’s ever laid eyes on her has thought about it, asshole.” It’s almost impossible to look at her andnotthink about it.
“Not the way you have. By which I mean obsessively.”
Yeah, maybe. It never occurred to me that I’d been so obvious. And if I’ve been obvious to Caleb, the fact that Kate’s living with me will go over even worse than I’d thought. “Does Caleb think that too?”
“No, because if he did, he’d have already kicked your ass. You might have three inches and forty pounds on him, but I guarantee that if he thought you were after his wife, he’d find a way to make up the difference.”
“Ex-wife. And I’m not after her. She asked if she could stay and I let her. That’s it. She wants him back—I’m trying to avert a disaster.”
He lifts his beer, taking a large gulp. “She’s delusional, then. I’m not saying Caleb wasn’t into Kate, but what they had wasn’t what he has with Lucie. It was less like love and more like...the sex was so good he couldn’t stop himself.”
Just the idea of Caleb with Kate makes my blood boil. He was never right for her, or her for him. I’d probably have done the same thing in his shoes, but I wish to God he’d left well enough alone.
Once Harrison arrives, I tell Lawrence to cover the bar and we head to a table in the back. I’ve just set a pitcher down when Caleb walks in.
I tip my chin at him. “Look who finally decided to show up.”
He grins, dropping into the chair beside mine. “I’ve turned into the pussy who ditches his friends for a girl, haven’t I?”
I lean back in my seat. “You were a pussy long before you met Lucie.”
“How’s it going with her anyway?” asks Liam, as if we’re suddenly contestants onThe Bachelorwith nothing better to do than discuss our feelings.
Caleb’s smile falters. “Good. You know—there are ups and downs, but it’s good.”
