Page 47 of A Strict School


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“I did not say you were a waste of time. I did not say anything of the sort.”

“Well, I am!” Storm practically yells the words.

There is a brief pause, and then she feels fingers hooked in her collar, urging her back up off the desk and into a standing position. She is now before Jane with a very sore bottom and her self-esteem in tatters.

“What has gotten into you?” Jane asks the question with some concern.

“I was going to be good this week,” Storm sniffs, holding back tears as best she can. “I was going to do everything right. But it’s not even dinner time on Monday and I’m already in so much trouble!”

“You are in trouble,” Jane says. “But you’re not the worst, and you’re not usually mean. Where is all of this coming from?”

Storm shrugs. She doesn’t want to say where it is coming from. She doesn’t want to admit to the reservoir of dark thoughts and darker deeds all stored up inside her secret places. They leak out sometimes, but nobody needs to know about them.

There is another pause. She can feel Jane’s eyes on her, sorting through her, working her out.

“You know, I can separate the behavior from the person,” Jane says. “You might have experienced situations in which your behavior resulted in the entirety of you being judged and found wanting, but that is not how I operate. We deal with the behavior, and then it is over. Do you understand?”

Storm nods slightly, wiping her eyes very quickly with the back of her sleeve.

“Yeah,” she says in a voice that is close to breaking.

Jane wraps her arms around Storm and hugs her. There is so much tension inside Storm, so much latent fear that only seems to grow the closer she gets to fully accepting discipline rather than it simply being something that happens to her.

“You’re okay,” Jane tells her. “You’re safe.”

The wordsyou’re safeonly make Storm get even more tense. The concept of safety itself is a threat, something that cannot be trusted. She is safer when she is at a distance, where there is room for rebellion, and where rejection will hurt less.

“Yeah,” she lies. “I know.”

She’s never lied to Jane before. Now she’s told two lies in one afternoon.

“Storm. Look at me.”

Storm looks up at Jane, though she really doesn’t want to, because she’s terrified Jane will see all those lies plainly in her eyes.

“Tell me why you think I might be sick of you.”

“Why wouldn’t you be? You said I’m the one with the most discipline, but I’m still the worst one. So maybe that’s just who I am. And maybe it’s inevitable that…” Storm bites her lower lip, because she will not fucking cry.

“You’re not the worst one, and you’re not mean. I’m going to give you a chance now, to tell me what really happened with Penelope and Melissa. Did you really tell them I wanted to see them?”

Storm hesitates.

“How did you know to ask that question!?”

“Because, as I said, it’s out of character.”

“I didn’t… I… okay I didn’t tell them to come down. We all came down because we saw Kiera come driving up all crazy and…”

Jane nods. “So you lied to me.”

“Yeah,” Storm squeaks.

“You really know how to get yourself into trouble, young lady,” Jane says, though mercifully and not without some affection. “There are always layers with you.”

“Yeah,” Storm agrees again, blushing and still on the verge of tears. “I know.”

* * *

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