Page 44 of Pity Party


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“Melissa,” I step toward her, causing her to retreat in the opposite direction. “I’m not interested in dating anyone. It’s not personal.”

She looks down at her skirt and brushes a smudge of dirt off it before asking, “Why aren’t you interested in dating?”

“Because I don’t want to confuse Sammy anymore. She already has to deal with the fact that her mother doesn’t want her, and I don’t want her to get her hopes up about someone else being her mother.”

“Have you dated at all since Sammy’s mom left?” She sounds horrified.

“I’m not a monk,” I tell her. “But I don’t introduce my dates to my daughter.”

“You haven’t gotten serious with anyone in all that time?”

I shake my head firmly. “There were one or two I might have taken things further with had I not had a child, but I don’t trust anyone else to put Sammy’s best interests above their own. I’m her parent. She’s my responsibility.”

Melissa shifts from foot to foot. “I don’t want to marry you. Heck, I don’t even know you, and up until five minutes ago I thought you hated me. But wouldn’t Sammy be better off with a father and stepmother than just a dad?”

“I’m a great dad.”

“I’m sure you are,” she says kindly. “But Sammy is missing out on a mom and you’re both missing out on more kids.”

“Look, Melissa, there isn’t anything you can say to me that I haven’t rolled around my brain a thousand times before. The bottom line is that Sammy has already lost the most important person in her life. I can’t risk that again.”

“What happened with your wife?” she asks pointedly.

“We weren’t married,” I tell her. “We were together for a lot of years, and we planned on getting married someday. When Beth got pregnant, we set the date for after Sammy was born.”

“But she left before that could happen?”

“Beth had serious postpartum depression and she never really bonded with Sammy. When Sammy was still a baby, she took a job in London. She didn’t want us to join her until she knew she wanted to stay there. By the time I saw her again, she’d made her break with us and wasn’t interested in reuniting our family.”

“Has she seen Sammy since?” The horror in Melissa’s voice is the same as everyone else who hears our story.

“I asked her to stay away until she was willing to set up regular visitation. I didn’t want my daughter to struggle with feelings of abandonment during her entire upbringing. That’s the reason I don’t want a long-term relationship with another woman.”

After studying my face like she’s trying to commit it to memory, Melissa says, “I’m sorry for what you and Sammy have been through.”

“Thank you for understanding.”

“Would you have wanted to date me if you didn’t have a daughter?” she asks, sounding equal parts hopeful and hurt.

“You’re a lovely woman and I would have liked nothing more,” I tell her truthfully.

“So, we’re going to be friends?” God, she’s beautiful. I would do anything in this moment if it meant I could take our kiss back. It’s agony knowing how perfect our chemistry is and not being able to do anything about it.

I shake my head. “I don’t think that’s wise. It’s clear we’re attracted to each other, so friendship doesn’t seem like a viable option. I think we should keep our relationship purely professional.”

“You mean like I’m your daughter’s employer and nothing more?”

“You’re also her friend,” I say. “And that means the world to both of us.”

“So, we’re just going to pretend that we never kissed?”

“I think that’s for the best.”

The tension in the air is palpable, and I can’t read Melissa’s expression to save my life. If forced to guess, I might say her anger is bordering on murderous. She suddenly springs to life and walks past me to the ladder by the exit. She begins to climb before opening the hatch. I half-expect her to close it before I can join her, but she doesn’t.

When I follow her up the ladder, I discover the exit is close to the dock. I look around for Melissa. “I didn’t notice this door when I came out here yesterday.”

“Secret passages generally blend in for a reason.” She turns her back toward me and walks to the end of the dock. I don’t join her for fear that the temptation to push me into the lake would be too great for her to resist.

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