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As we walk into his office, I sit down on the couch and confess, “I was worried the only reason you wanted to date me onthe show was to pit me and Cami against each other to make Eva jealous.”
He sits down next to me. “I don’t care what my ex thinks anymore. Your opinion is all that matters right now.” As much as I want to ask him about Cami’s opinion, I don’t want to ruin the current mood.
“You’re going to come to the mixer tonight, right?” I ask him.
There’s a long pause before he answers, “I don’t know yet.”
“Please, Tim. I don’t want to be stuck out there by myself.”
“You’ll have Cami, Brittany, and Chip. And who knows, you might meet other people.” He gives me a nervous look like he’s talking about other men. Which of course I should want to do, being that this is a dating show, but the truth is I’m not interested. If Tim is as serious about me as I am about him, then I’m ready to jump on board.
My phone alarm rings, alerting me that it’s time for hair and makeup, so I tell him, “I’m going to head down and get ready. You coming?”
“No. I want to make Trina sweat for a while. I’ll be down later.”
Standing up, I tell him, “Okay, I’ll see you at the mixer then.” I give him my sternest look, hoping to intimidate him into showing.
Trina warned us that something was going to happen tonight, and as much as I hope it’s just another stupid game, I know at the very minimum they’re going to send one or more of the original cast members home. And now that Tim has kissed me, there’s no way I want to leave.
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
TIM
I’ve kissed more than my fair share of women. Heck, I’ve been dating since high school and barely took a break between girlfriends. In other words, there’s been a lot of kissing. But no one, and I mean no one, has ever made me feel quite like Paige. Her touch was tentative and naïve, but it was also beseeching and demanding. I felt how much she wanted me, and I’m left humbled by the experience.
I replay the last few minutes repeatedly and realize that I can’t leave Paige on her own tonight. I want to spend every moment that I can with her, even if it means putting up with the ridiculous machinations of a reality show.
After she leaves my office, I think about what she asked me. WhyamI so worked up aboutMidwestern Matchmakertalking to my parents? I was practically unhinged when I saw them come out of the conference room, and that is not okay.
The ending of my marriage has damaged me in ways I don’t know how to recover from. I don’t care about Eva anymore. She’s in the past. But her abandonment has left me feeling fragile.
Regardless of how progressive our society has become, men are still taught to believe that in order to be a real man, they must be emotionally strong, have a good job, and be able to take care of their family’s needs. They’re never instructed what to do when their spouse leaves them for someone else.
I briefly consider the benefits of requiring emotional health classes for all children who attend school. Because let’s face it, that’s something they’ll need a heck of a lot more than knowing how to diagram molecules or conjugate French verbs.
Grabbing my clothes for tonight, I make a side stop at the men’s locker room and take a hot shower. It’s not so much that I’m hoping to wash away the stress as I want to refresh my attitude. I’m onMidwestern Matchmakerto move on with my life, and I’ve done that.
Yes, they have a hidden agenda, but I made sure they couldn’t act on it. Therefore, there’s no reason I can’t be like every other person on the show. With renewed acceptance and, dare I sayenthusiasm, I leave the locker room and walk headfirst into tonight’s mixer.
“Hello, singles!” Trina greets us. I’m once again standing with Paige and Cami. “We have a special guest for you tonight, but that’s coming later. Right now, we’re going to have you mingle while we take you off to interview you about why you think we should keep you onMidwestern Matchmaker. I’m sorry to tell you this, but tonight, two of you are going to leave us.”
Her announcement is met with groans. Everyone but me applied to this show to find love. To kick them off early is truly reprehensible. Having said that,pick me!I want out so badly I can taste it.
Trina comes over to our group and touches my arm. “Tim, we’d like to interview you first.”
I’d like to talk to her too. After following her across the ballroom to where a camera is set up, I sit down on one of the chairs. Trina sits next to me.
The cameraman calls out, “In three, two …” then he forms his finger into a pretend gun and shoots it.Death by reality dating …
“Tim,” Trina says with what sounds like real concern, “you’re getting a little agitated being on the show, aren’t you?”
“You could say that.” My jaw is so tight I wonder if this is what tetanus feels like.
“And that’s because your ex-wife left you, right?”
Oh no, she didn’t. Through gritted teeth, I tell her, “I believe there were terms to the contract I signed withMidwestern Matchmakerand one of those terms was that you couldn’t bring up my ex-wife.”
“Ah,” she says. “But those terms only applied if you didn’t bring up Eva first.”
