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“Nice and relaxed,” he murmured, twisting his finger this way and that, screwing it almost imperceptibly farther forward with each tiny motion. The lubricant allowed it to glide in, not quite unnoticed, but painlessly. It still felt strange and I had to work hard to ignore the frantic signals coming down to my muscles from my brain that THIS SHOULDN’T BE HAPPENING but I breathed deeply and let him penetrate farther.
“Mm, that feels tight,” he said. He stroked my flank while his finger poked and swiveled and I gave myself to the feeling of debauched abasement. “Imagine how much fuller you’re going to feel in a minute, with my cock up there.”
He pulled out his finger.
I whimpered a little and braced myself, but surprisingly he put his hands on my hips and nudged them sideways, indicating that I was to roll over onto my back.
I looked up at him questioningly. He responded by lifting the backs of my thighs so my legs were drawn up to my chest, bent at the knees. He placed a pillow under my bum, lifting it higher, then pulled the cheeks apart again, staring down at the target area.
“I thought you’d do it the other way,” I ventured, thrown off my stride by the thought of him being able to see my face while he buggered me.
“I’ll miss being able to see your arse properly,” he admitted, lining the tip of his cock up with my suddenly rather tense ring of muscle. “But I’m worried if I can’t see your face I’ll miss a cue of some sort and end up hurting you. Believe me, we’ll do it the other way next time.”
“Okay,” I breathed. “Okay.” I made a concerted effort to loosen those muscles again, regardless of that big blunt presence right up against them.
“Are you ready, babe, are you okay? Do you need more lube?”
“No, just…be careful, yeah?”
“Of course I will. If it gets too much, you must tell me.”
“I will.”
I screwed shut my eyes and panted, feeling my small hole widen and stretch in its effort to accommodate this new intruder. It was never going to work, never going to fit…but it worked for countless other couples. Why not us?
I put my faith in Luke, who had done it before, after all, and let the alarm bells in my brain die down.
He slicked back and forth in the lube once, twice and then on the third attempt he put my body to its ultimate test. It stung like a motherfucker for a second or two, and then he was in.
“Oh!” I exclaimed. It really felt very unusual, as if I was so stuffed full I might burst. I held on to him, clinging, my breathing speeding up, my body threatening to tip into a panic mode.
“It’s okay, it’s just for a moment, it’s always a bit uncomfortable the first time,” he said, taking a moment to kiss my forehead.
He moved farther in and then it really was uncomfortable, a burning spasm shooting outward from my rectal walls.
“Push,” he whispered. “Push against it.”
I pushed. Within a few seconds, the pain had passed and I was left with that full-to-bursting feeling again. Luckily, I really liked that one.
Luke took everything very, very easy, watching me all the time for flickers of expression. Now, with the initial shock of penetration over, I was free to float into the headspace I’d imagined, a place of dark and primal submission, of feeling owned in every respect, taken in the most fundamental and intimate way, no longer able to say that any part of me was inaccessible to my lover.
Even at Luke’s slow pace, the friction was intense, and his backward slides after each considered thrust felt like an unraveling that almost threw me back into anxiety. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get used to it. Did people get used to it?
“This is incredible,” he avowed brokenly. “Your arse is so tight and hot. I’m going to fuck it all the time now. I can see you’re enjoying it. You’re going to get this so much, Lis.”
I couldn’t open my eyes. I couldn’t look at him, watching me while I got my bum fucked by him. The erotic humiliation of it was sharp and sweet, but something I felt unable to share just yet.
“I’m not sure I can last…”
He put his fingers square on my clit and began to rub it, speeding me on to a climax I didn’t feel quite ready for. I’d have appreciated more time to sink into the wickedness and wantonness of it. But perfect first times were rare. I was happy to settle for very good.
And very good it was, his skilled fingers joining with his cock to form a sensation so immense that I didn’t know whether it was my arse or my clit that experienced the most pleasure. They seemed to become one with each other, playing on and enhancing each step toward orgasm until the final burst blinded me, throwing me into a bucking frenzy while his cock pumped furiously inside my passage.
I was only dimly conscious of Luke’s orgasm, lost by then in a fog of powerful density. My own climax took a long time to wind down; I felt like a feather floating slowly to the ground.
I opened my eyes to see a blurry Luke looming over me, gasping for breath, his brow shiny with sweat, his eyes glazed, pupils flickering. He looked as if he’d arrived in heaven. I put out my hand to touch his face.
“Good?” I asked.
