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A slight shake took over my hands as I walked over and opened the bedroom door. Jase leaned against the wall, a look on his face that stole my words. No, it stole my sanity. Thinking was impossible. Moving didn’t even register as he stepped in to hover over me.
He reached forward, untwisting the towel from my head. My wet hair cascaded down, falling over my shoulders as he let the towel drop to the floor.
“I can’t believe you’re really here. Are you ready?”
My fingers drew in, and I quickly nodded, finding my feet as his hand flattened at my lower back. He let me walk to the bed at my own pace, leading, but not pushing.
“You don’t mind? You said your cuffs. I’m aware there’s a dynamic, but I don’t know much about the lifestyle—”
His finger pressed against my lips, cutting me off.
“Climb up.”
I glanced at the pillow, leveling my knee on the comforter as I obeyed. Jase waited until I covered up before he sat on the edge of the bed, picking up the cuff from where I’d laid it.
“Hand.”
Slowly, I brought it up from my lap. My body was buzzing, humming with pings of need. My legs wanted to shift and add friction. I closed my eyes, feeling the pressure from Jase’s large fingers wrap around my wrist.
“Open for me. See me. You can’t close yourself off to this. That’s not how it works.”
My lids fluttered through the nervousness, but I managed to meet his smoldering stare. He liked this. A lot. And it fit everything I knew of him. This felt like a natural part of Jase. So much so that his energy fed mine. The shaking eased. The fear faded.
“There we go.” He slid the strap through the buckle, and I nearly moaned as the padded, leather cuff gripped loosely to my wrist. “I think it’s best for now to leave as much space as we can. With your other hand injured, you won’t really be able to unfasten this. This way, you can slide free, but you’ll still have the illusion of security.”
“Can we? Can we just see?” I tried not to be embarrassed. If I could tighten it, myself, I would have, but I needed Jase for this part. I needed to feel this.
“You want it tighter?”
“Yes, please. Just for a little bit.”
His eyes narrowed as he watched me. He pulled back the strap, bringing the leather in to hug my skin.
“Tighter?”
It was snug, but not like how it used to be. A part of me wondered if I should stop here, but the side that needed this refused to be deprived.
“More.”
Jase paused, doing as I asked. My chest rose heavily as I nodded in approval. He fastened the cuff, pushing the tip of his index finger along the inside, assessing the tightness.
“How does it feel? Move your arm. Test it out.”
My eyes closed again. I pulled down a few inches until the cuff prohibited me to go further. “It’s good.” I squeezed my lids, gripping the strap with my fingers as I continued to test its strength. It was perfect, grounding my thoughts and emotions. It gave me something to hold to, beyond the good or bad things in my life; just as the shackles had when I’d been chained to the floor.
I opened my eyes. “I like it.”
He gave a sharp nod, rolling his neck on his shoulders. His breaths were heavier. Slightly faster. “Let’s put it back to where it was.” And just like that the strap adjusted. “Try to get some rest. I’ll see you at seven.”
Standing, he turned, heading for the door.
“Jase?”
“Yes, Kody?”
He stopped but didn’t move. I didn’t continue until he faced me.
“Thank you.”
