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“I didn’t know you were awake.”
I can’t help but laugh. “So that makes it better?”
“Of course it does. I didn’t think you would’ve noticed.”
“You didn’t think I would have noticed somebody coming while getting finger-fucked in the bed next to me?”
Her embarrassment is completely gone now and has been replaced with hearty laughter. She throws her head back and wraps her arms around her torso as to rein in the laughs from her chest.
Shaking my head, I set the bags of groceries on the kitchen table and pull out the assortment of pastries.
“Oooh, bear claws, my favorite.” Opening the plastic box, she grabs one of the sugary pastries, taking a big bite off the corner.
“I know. I remembered.”
“You did? I told you that one time, years ago.” She giggles. Her tongue darts out to lick some sugar from her bottom lip, making me suppress a groan. How can such a small act be so sexy?
“I have a good memory.”Especially when it comes to you, I think to myself.
She closes her eyes, enjoying the sugary treat like she’s having another orgasm. Fuck me.
“Those are delicious. I’m glad you kept them hidden in the car because I definitely would’ve eaten them last night.” She giggles some more. Her bell-like laughter igniting something deep in my chest. Warmth I only feel when I’m near her.
“I called Mason while I was in town last night.”
She keeps slowly chewing the pastry, but the euphoric expression on her face has now dimmed. “I figured you would,” she says after swallowing. “How mad is he?”
“I think he’s more confused than mad,” I tell her honestly. “Teagan and Mason were also relieved that you are okay. Why do you think he would be mad above all?”
“Just a feeling, I guess.”
“Are you going to give us any more trouble today, or will you keep your word and come with us peacefully?”
“I’m ready to go back. I needed some time to gather my thoughts and come to terms with what I’ve done by not telling Mason about our mom. I made a wrong decision, and that haunts me.”
I nod slowly. It’s the first reason she admits to that I actually believe, but I still don’t understand why she didn’t just stay and tell us. We could’ve helped her through this instead of her going out on her own and worrying everybody. Running only made her look guilty. She must’ve known that.
“Plus, I have to go back. I need to get my nails and hair done,” she jokes. “I don’t even feel like myself without my fake lashes, makeup, and designer clothes. Leggings are comfortable, but they’re really not my style.”
“Why do you feel the need to do all of this? Your nails, your hair, and makeup? You know you don’t need any of that shit.”
She shrugs. “I want to love myself. I want to love what I see in the mirror.” She explains, like she rehearsed the statement. Is that what she tells herself?
“For someone so smart you can be a bit stupid sometimes,” I say, despite knowing I’m about to offend her.
Her eyebrows furrow together. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“The way you look has nothing to do with loving yourself. It’s about the way you feel,” I explain, looking for the right words. “Just imagine each day you’re a new person. Imagine all the days before, a different version of you existed. And now pick one of those versions. Maybe the person you were yesterday or theone last week. Think about who you were. Imagine her in front of you. You know all her thoughts, all her hardships and all the decisions she made. Now, do you love that person? If you don’t, then find out why and fix it. That’s how you love yourself. You become a person today, that future you can love tomorrow.”
She stares at me, dumbfounded. Her eyes unfocused, and her lip slightly parted as she processes what I’ve just said. She seems surprised. I’m just unclear if she is surprised by the words or that I am the one saying them.
I never get an answer because Griffin waltzes into the room, interrupting our moment. “What are you two up to? Wait, is that more food? Did you get breakfast without me?”
Nat’s mouth snaps shut, and she turns to Griffin with a warning. “Bear claws are all mine. Do. Not. Touch.”
Griffin raises his hands, showing his palms, like you would to calm a wild animal. “Got it. Not eating any of your bear claws.”
“I am glad we’re clear on the subject.” Nat shoves another bite of pastry into her mouth.
