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"Jesus," Jude breathes, shifting as if he intends to use his body to shield me from the memory. "I'm sorry, princess."
"Me too." I clear my throat and shake off the memory, refusing to dwell on it. It was a long time ago now and I'm safe. "It shook Dimitri up. He and Uncle Dante didn't want to risk the same thing happening again, so they sent me here. I was only supposed to be here until they dealt with the cartel responsible, but I fell in love with Silver Spoon Falls. I fell in love with being free."
"You've never had that before, have you?" he asks.
I shake my head. "I've been guarded my whole life. Here, I can go places by myself. I can have a job and friends and alife. I don't have to look over my shoulder every single day. I'm tired of being a prisoner in my own life, Jude. If I go back, that's what I'm going back to. And I know they mean well. Ilovethem for loving me enough to want to keep me safe. But that isn't a life. That isn't living. Besides…" I trail off, not sure I'm ready to admit that I don't want to go back because he isn't there.
Is it too soon for that? It feels like we've beenthisforever, but in reality, it hasn't even been a full day. My heart has known him for eight months, but the rest of me is just catching up. Maybe I should let it catch up before I admit that I've been putting off returning because I'm obsessed with him.
"Besides what?" he asks, his eyes shifting across my face.
Maybe that's what I should do…but it's not what I'm going to do. He wants to be all over me every minute of the day. That means something. Maybe he doesn't feel the same way I do, but he feelssomething.
"You're here," I say shyly, staring at my lap.
"Fuck," he rumbles, setting my plate aside. It thumps on the counter. "Am I the reason you didn't flee town, baby doll?"
I nod, still focused on my lap. There's a loose stitch in the hem of my t-shirt where it rests against my right thigh. "I tried to drive out of town," I whisper. "I made it all the way to the Silver Spoon Falls sign, but then I couldn't go any farther." I swallow nervously. "I came here instead. I…I waited until all the lights went off and I slipped in through your window."
"How'd you know what window was mine, princess?" he growls, placing his hands on my thighs. I jump, startled at the sudden contact. He's not finished though. He pushes my t-shirt up to my hips, exposing my panties. "How did you know which window to climb through to get into daddy's bed?"
"I…don't know."
"Princess."
"I memorized it."
"Remember sleeping in your wet panties when you lied to me last night?" He runs his thumb across the seam of my panties, making me whimper. "Good girls don't lie, princess."
"Daddy."
"Tell me." He touches me again and I writhe on the countertop. Oh god, this torture is exquisite. The pressure is just hard enough for me to feel it, but not nearly hard enough to give me what I need. He does it again and then again. Until I sob in frustration.
"I've done it before!" I cry, my head thrown back as tremors wrack my body. "I crawled in through your window and slept in your bed when you weren't here." He lives in a gated community on the opposite side of town. Sometimes, when he's there, I come here. I can't help it. I need to be close to him. It's like a compulsion I can't resist.
"How many times?" he growls.
"Once."
He touches me again. Punishes me again.
"Daddy!"
"Tell me the truth, princess."
"T-three times." The lock on his window is broken. I should have told someone, but I didn't want anyone to know what I was doing. I didn't want anyone to stop me. So I kept my secret. I kept the one way I could be close to him. And I'm not sorry for it. I should be. If I were a good girl, I would be. But I'm not.
"Oh, princess," he breathes, moving my panties to the side and pressing his thumb to my clit. "You've needed daddy for a long time, haven't you?"
"So bad," I sob, tears welling in my eyes. "I've needed you s-so bad."
"Not anymore, baby doll," he vows, pressing his lips to mine. "Not ever again."
Chapter Five
Jude
Months.Fuckingmonthsshe's needed me. She's ached for me, hurt for me, and I've let her down. I've made her sad. I've left her sneaking around in the dark and climbing through my window just to feel close to me. If ever I needed proof that I am, in fact, an asshole, it's staring me in the face. My princess needed me, and I couldn't get past my own shit to see it.
