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My eyes darted to the nurse, and I quickly composed myself as I turned back to him. He was growing angry. Defensive. We’d come so far in record time. Making him mad was the last thing I needed. “I’m afraid I’m in shock. I had already accepted that I failed in providing you a child. I guess this explains why my hormones have been all over the place. Forgive me.”
Edward stood, pulling me in his arms. “You’re forgiven. This is going to be great. You’ll see.”
But it wouldn’t be. Not for me. Not for my Master. Especially not a child born of this place. Conceived in captivity. Created from my silent violation. Voluntary rape? Was there such a thing when you didn’t have a voice? When you didn’t have a choice?
The floor seemed to move as I broke from my Master’s arm, spinning for the nearest trash can. My fingers were curled in, stiff and contorted as I heaved and tried to catch my breath. They were locked in place, not wanting to straighten or bend. Even my chest was starting to go numb through the panic attack that was taking me over.
“Jesus.”
“Don’t worry, Master. This is completely normal. The body sometimes kicks in on its own the moment confirmation is given. I’m afraid you have a few months of this to look forward to.”
A hand settled on my back, too small to be my Master’s. They continued to talk, and she answered questions from Edward, but all I heard was the screams in my head. The denials. Pleas for a direction or sign. I needed something to keep me sane. I needed a miracle.
“It’s okay,” The nurse said, softly. “I’m here. I’ll help you. Master, I’m going to look after your wife and clean her up. Why don’t you go grab her a water on the table outside? I’m sure she’s going to need it when she’s finished.”
“No, I’ll stay.”
“I insist.She’ll be fine with me. I’ll look after her. It won’t take you long.”
Master B-0999
Aman didn’t get as far as I did by being gullible. He didn’t succeed or win awards because he took his eye off the ball. He put in the work. He listened. Saw things others wouldn’t normally see. Or maybe that was the darkness in me. I was the hunter, hyperalert from years dormant without a kill. That part of me was always ready. Always waiting. But for this? Like this? I was hurt. Betrayed, like Madeline had felt. But worse…I was seething. That rage held to my heartbreak no different than as if the two were molded together.
“Did I do something?”
I was so focused on my soon-to-be wife’s face that I could barely get myself to speak. Her lips were extra pouty; her eyes slightly puffy and narrowed through fear. She was a mess as she had every fucking right to be given the situation, but it was her possible secrets I was zeroed in on. I couldn’t be mistaken. There was no way. I wasn’t stupid. That nurse was persistent and sent me out for a reason, and I wanted to know what it was.
“I don’t understand why you’re so angry all of a sudden. If I did something, I’m sorry.
“Didyou do something, Madeline?”
“Edward.” She stepped down from her place on the small bed, worry clearly taking over as she came to kneel at my feet. I didn’t move. I didn’t change my expression. I kept eye contact, waiting. Seeing if she’d confess what we both truly knew. “Edward, I don’t like you being so upset. You’re making me nervous. Will you please talk to me? You haven’t been the same since I got sick. I didn’t mean to.”
“No, I’m sure you can’t help how you feel, just like I can’t help it.”
“How do you feel?”
“Have I notpouredout my views enough on where we stood?”
“Stood? Do we still not stand there?”
“I don’t know, Madeline. Do we?”
Her hands came to rest on my knees as she lifted to hers. I didn’t lean forward from the chair I sat on. I stayed still, glaring down at her.
“You don’t want this anymore?”
“I want this. I.” My teeth slammed into each other as I took a deep breath. “I wanted this.”
“You keep using past tense. You have to talk to me. I swear I didn’t mean to get sick. I was overwhelmed. You caught me by surprise. Don’t you see this keeps happening? I—”
“What were you and the nurse whispering about when I walked in?”
Madeline stiffened the smallest amount. I raised my eyebrow, waiting.
“I don’t know. I don’t remember. She was asking if I was okay.”
I did lean forward then, cupping her jaw securely as I got inches from her face. “If there’s one thing I can spot, it’s lies. Fear. You both looked guilty as sin when I walked in. I see everything,wife. Rarely much gets by me. Did she give you the shot? A pill? When should I expect you to start bleeding?”
