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Amy walked over and picked up Tate.
“I don’t mind helping,” I told her.
She nodded and motioned for me to lead the way to a good changing spot.
And that was the first moment I realized I had absolutely nothing in the way of baby needs. Suddenly, it felt like I was a complete wreck. I’d need diapers, a changing table, a crib, and baby gates for when he started crawling. I needed toys, clothes…
A cold sweat trickled down my back as I thought about how truly unprepared I was.
I motioned for Amy to follow me into a small study where I had an oversized plush ottoman to lay him on. She whipped a diaper and baby wipes out of nowhere.
“Nearly all of his outfits have snaps. See?”
She raised the little guy’s legs, and sure enough, all along the inner seams were snaps. She did a quick un-Velcro of his diaper with his legs up while sliding in the new diaper. All the while, with the extra tentacles she suddenly grew, she'd managed to wipe his rear with a baby wipe while rolling up the dirty diaper.
“See? Simple as that.”
I chuckled, looking at Tate's little legs as she snapped him back up.
“You look terrified,” she said, smiling at me.
“Honestly, I don’t want to screw him up.”
She shook her head. “You’re here, aren’t you?” She glanced around the quiet study. “That’s half the battle. Besides, it sounds like I’ll be coming with Tate every time he comes here or to Buttercup Lake.”
“Oh, wow. Okay.”
She picked him up and handed him to me. “Do you have a place for this?”
I nodded, took the diaper from her, and tossed it in the garbage can next to my desk.
She grinned and nodded. “Whatever you do, don’t forget you put it there.”
I laughed, holding up Tate as he cooed. “That sounds like one of the most important things someone has told me.”
She nodded. “It is. Believe me.”
As we made our way into the living room, Nick and Brielle were looking at the lake.
“First diaper lesson down,” Amy said.
Brielle turned around. “That’s the easy part. Just wait until two o’clock in the morning comes.”
“What happens at two?”
“Nick likes to call it ‘the witching hour’.”
I chuckled as Nick looked at his phone. “I hate to do this, but our flight is in an hour. I have a meeting I have to get back in town for.”
My chest tightened at the thought of giving Tate back, but I knew this was the new normal. Soon, I’d get to spend days and weeks with him, even if Brielle was lurking somewhere.
Brielle looked over and gave me a sympathetic smile. Motherhood had somehow softened her, and I was extremely grateful.
“We can do some video calls this week and go over the paperwork for custody.” Brielle tilted her head with sympathy.
It felt like my world was slowly imploding. The elation and jubilation soaring through my veins over meeting my son, to the heartache and disbelief that I wouldn’t get to see him for days, felt like a nightmare rollercoaster. The stark reminder lingered as I nosed him with mine and gave his little body another embrace as Amy came over to bundle him up for the cold weather.
“I can’t wait,” I said, watching Tate get buckled into his buggy.
