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“Good.” He kisses the top of my head, then slips out of the kitchen.
I stay there for a while, looking blankly at the grooves in the hardwood floor. I can feel his lips simmering on my scalp long after I hear his car start up and zoom away.
Together.The one thing I want. The one thing he keeps promising me.
The one thing I can’t let us have.
I don’t move until my phone buzzes on the countertop. Then again. And again. I check it and I’m surprised to see the contact naming popping up.
“Anton. Hi.”
“Sloanie!” Even though he had a hand in kidnapping me, or at least watching me after the Bloodhound kidnapped me, hearing his voice is like an old blanket. Which is ridiculous, I know. I shouldn’t feel warm toward a man who associates with the son of a bitch who’s making my life miserable.
But Anton was also a very good friend of my father. He’s the last link I have to the dad I knew once, before the drinking and the gambling and the drugs stole him from me. Hearing his voicereminds me of simpler, happier times. Even though a part of me knows it shouldn’t.
“What’s up?”
I’m cringing against the possibility of more bad news. Higher interest rate, more frequent payments, the Bloodhound is coming for more and more and more… But his tone is breezy.
“Not too much. I just thought that it’s been a while since we’ve seen each other, and last time wasn’t…” He pauses. “Anyway, I was thinking we could get some lunch. Like old times.”
I was seven the last time I had lunch with Anton and my father. That’s when it all started going to hell for us. Maybe it’s the nostalgia that makes me want to say yes, the chance to feel, even if only for a little while, the safety of being a kid again.
“Your BFF isn’t going to be coming along, right?”
Nostalgic or not, a girl can’t be too careful.
“Just you and me, kiddo.” He chuckles that raspy smoker’s laugh of his.
We make plans to meet later today. After I hang up, I consider giving my security guys the slip again, but I don’t completely trust Anton. I would rather someone know where I am than wake up on a warehouse floor again.
By the time I get ready, I have twenty minutes to get there. I don’t invite the security guys to come along in the car, but I don’t mind as much that their black SUV follows me to the restaurant and pulls into the lot behind me.
I give them a wave then walk inside. Anton is already at a corner table. When he sees me, he waves me over. He stands and holdsmy chair for me as I approach, then leans down to press a kiss on my cheek. He smells like sweat and cigarettes.
“You look great, sweetheart. Good to see you doing well.”
“You look exactly the same.”
He chuckles as he retakes his seat. “You ain’t gotta lie to me. I live a hard life. I imagine it’s taking a toll. I just try not to look in the mirror too often if I can help it.” He gives me a lopsided grin.
“How are things?”
He takes a sip of his soda and shrugs. “About the same as always. I been working at the garage for Bobby.”
I hate calling him that.Bobby.It sounds so normal, so human. But if you ask me, there is no reason to humanize a man who is more monster than man.
“Glad to hear that.”
“What about you? How are things going for you?”
I force a fake smile on my face. “Well, I lost my job. Spent all day looking for a new one yesterday. Came up empty.” I shake my head. “When Dad died, I had to drop out of college. So I’m not exactly qualified for much more than slinging beers or flipping burgers.”
I know he would help me if I asked. Especially if I tell him about the baby. But I’m not asking. I won’t ever ask.
Anton’s gaze falters. “I’m… I’m real sorry I couldn’t keep Bobby away from you after your old man passed,” he grunts.
“It’s not your fault.”
