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It doesn’t feel like there’s anything to be proud of at all.
SIXTEEN
CREED
Sleep hasn’t claimed me. Not even for a second. I’ve laid beneath these sheets for what feels like an eternity, staring at the back of my eyelids as time passes me by. Raven hasn’t woken since she dropped to the floor at Erikel’s feet; another factor adding to the anger burning through me, keeping me awake.
I’m left suffering in the unknown, drowning with worry and choked up with disbelief at yesterday’s events. Events I don’t truly know or understand. I’ve never experienced memory loss, nevermind to this capacity, and it’s leaving me reeling.
One minute, I was stepping through the gateway with the other students, and the next, I was hovering beside a pile of dead bodies. An actual pile. I can still smell the stench of death. It lingers on my skin.
There was actual blood on my hands and I had to get it off as soon as I stepped into the house. I couldn’t let Raven see that, see the state of me. She didn’t need to deal with my mess on top of her own, but Erikel was making it impossible for me to separate it.
Raven deserves the best from all of us at all times, but that’s getting harder and harder to deliver, and now I’m hurting herin the process with bursts of anger, which are in no way actually aimed at her.
Fuck no, but the words had parted my lips before I could realize that. I deserved the punch from Brax, and the fact that I had to be the one to bring her to Erikel earned me another. I don’t deserve to be lying beside her in this bed. She needs men who will protect her, not lead her to danger like a good little puppet.
When did this all go to shit? There was no warning, no time to get the hell out of here before the shit hit the fan. In the blink of an eye, our entire world was rocked. Erikel played the perfect guest until it was too late, and now we’re dealing with the repercussions.
How can a man like Erikel walk in here and control us all so easily?
Where the fuck are Burton and the rest of the professors?
Somebody somewhere higher up needs to start helping us out since it seems The Monarchy is willing to sacrifice our safety for the return of one man.Oneman. I don’t even know if Erikel did as agreed. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had Raven save him, only to keep him for himself. I don’t know. The second Raven dropped to the floor, we scooped her up and carried her the fuck out of there.
He didn’t protest either. Fucker clearly knew he went too far, but I’m sure it won’t stop him from doing it again. With my father still by his side. Another fucking conundrum that plagues my mind. The soft whisper of his voice plays on repeat in my head, reminding me that he allowed me through the walls of magic protecting him.
Why? What did that mean? I don’t even know if I can trust him.
Fuck.
This is exactly why I haven’t slept. Once I’ve exhausted myself on one subject, my brain moves on to another, and the process starts again.
Movement pulls me from my thoughts, and I know it’s Raven. The guys shuffled out of the giant bed as quietly as possible almost an hour ago while I laid as still as possible with my eyelids closed. My arms are straight at my sides, fighting against the urge to reach out and snuggle her. She needs to rest, not to wake up and instantly have to deal with my mess.
Hopefully, if I lay still enough, she’ll slip from the sheets, too, and join the others.
It’s almost as if she hears my thoughts because, in the next breath, I feel the sheets shift, but instead of clambering from the bed, she inches closer. All at once, her hair is on my shoulder, her breath on my chest, and her palm gently pressed against my abs. Her heat consumes me, her proximity setting me alight.
“I know you’re awake,” she whispers groggily, and I pry my eyes open. The light coming from the window burns, but not as much as her brightness does. Fuck. She’s beautiful. “Did you sleep at all?” she asks like she didn’t go through her own ordeal last night.
She leaves me breathless and it’s impossible to speak, so I shake my head. Her eyebrows gather with concern.
“Is it everything that happened yesterday that has you worried?” I shrug. Kind of, but I don’t care what Erikel puts me through. It’s the impact it has on her that has me torn up. “Cat got your tongue?” she adds with a smirk, so I offer the best smile I’ve got, which is weak as shit, and nod.
It fucking seems that way, and I can’t explain why.
“What kept you awake?” She props her head on her hand as she strokes my chest and I cock a brow. Surely, she knows everything I worry about revolves around her… right? “Me?” sheclarifies when she sees my expression, and I nod, still lacking the skills to talk.
Fuck. Stupid brain. Work.
“Why?” she asks, staring at me in disbelief, and I shrug like a fool. “You’re not making this easy,” she retorts with a smile, swirling her fingertip over my abs.
I’m really not doing it on purpose, but it’s like my throat has tightened up and there’s nothing I can do about it.
“What about me has you worried?” My eyes drift closed, stuck on where to even begin, and as the thoughts drift through my mind, my throat only tightens further. That doesn’t stop Raven, though. When she’s a woman on a mission for information, she’s on it. “Are you worried about what I think about what happened yesterday?”
Ding. Ding. Ding.
