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“I ate them a lot in college,” Fallon says, rustling through the plastic container. “I gave up my drinking and smoking and turned to a different vice.”
“Candy?”
“Yeah, but more specifically Lemonheads. They are bittersweet, and the aftertaste lingers a while like a constant reminder.”
I grimace when I feel him press my skin together, trying to brace for what comes next. “I’m sure your dentist loved that.”
He laughs, and I can’t control the goosebumps this time. It’s dangerous; I prefer him grumpy and cold. It allows me to easily distance myself from the crush I can’t seem to get rid of, but Fallon is laughing and telling me about his life. It feeds my delusion, that voice inside that says he feels what I feel when we’re next to each other.
His hold tightens as I let out a hiss at the searing burn, knowing he’s applying the glue. My first reaction is to pull away,but the longer it goes on, the more I relax and tolerate the sensation. I see the tube he tosses down, and then both of his hands are cradling my elbow. I can feel his fingers keeping the skin together, and I know we’ll be staying like that for a few minutes.
“Sage…”
I glance down at the man kneeling before me, ensnared in the green of his eyes as my breath catches. I try to focus on the sourness of the lemon burning down my throat as his thumb rubs the back of my arm.
“Did you hit him on purpose?”
“What?” I ask shakily. Shivers break out over my body, the wet swimsuit cold as it sticks to my skin.
“Did you swing your elbow out on purpose?”
I shake my head but his grip tightens.
“Don’t lie to me.”
Huffing out a breath, I swallow and the pulse in my throat quickens. “I didn’t mean to break his nose.”
“But you meant to hit him?” Fallon asks.
I blink, tearing my gaze away from him, and he lets go, standing and stepping back. I guess that was enough for him.
“That was incredibly dangerous and childish,” he says.
My eyebrows knit together then I glare up at him. “He wouldn’t back off, even after I warned him.”
“I told him to press you and not let up. You think another team is going to let up because you ask? You don’t react with violence.”
Guilt turns my stomach. This is why I learned to control my rage, I always hurt someone unintentionally. But now it also flares over his scolding, my pride demanding I defend myself.
“I’ve never had anyone like that. I could feeleverythingpressed against me. That isn’t allowed in the game.”
Something shifts in his eyes before it disappears in a second, and he crosses his arms. “You played high schoolers who didn’t care about anything but getting out of gym class. You will find more competitive, more aggressive players going forward.”
He’s right, and I’m irritated that he is. I clench my teeth, breathing through my nose to calm my anger before standing to bring us closer to one another. “Then what should I have done differently? If I feel caged in, I’ll panic and react.”
“Out-smart them. Use their aggression against them, play it up. Earn those fouls and penalties. Sage, you have to use your arm to your advantage. One-on-one, you’ll find very few goalies who are a match for you,” he says calmly.
I groan. “I hate that. I’m not a damn theater major, I don’t want to throw my hands out like I’m drowning when I’m not. That’s embarrassing.”
His eyebrows raise. “As embarrassing as losing? Because a difference of one goal is all you need, and why not take every chance you can get to score? There isn’t a sport out there where the players don’t dramatize the penalties and fouls. It’s part of the game.”
“It feels like cheating,” I say begrudgingly.
He nods then shakes out his hair again. He’s been standing in his wet clothes for a while and I feel a little bad, knowing he has to be uncomfortable. Fallon sighs and grabs a towel out of his bag on the floor.
“Trust that the refs know what they’re doing. If they feel it's not significant enough, then they won’t call it. Go sit on the bench. You can observe the rest of the scrimmage and then you’re going to walk to the trainer’s office and apologize to Durham.”
I don’t respond, tightening my hold on the towel he handed me and turning to walk out. Fallon catches my shoulder, and I look up at him.
