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“That’s great. Are you finding the scent soothes you when your anxiety flares up? Or is it the process of lighting the candle that helps distract your mind?”
“I guess both, it doesn’t always work though which is why I rub my legs.”
“That’s fine, it’s a sensory technique so scent and touch are great ones to pick. If sensory isn’t working for you, we can always work on some breathing techniques if you like?”
Rebelle nodded. “I think that would be good, do we have to do that now, though?”
“No. You could tell me why you’re afraid of men instead?”
Rebelle pursed her lips.Dammit.Justine was wily and had circled back. Rebelle finished her tea and set the cup down on the coffee table. With nothing in her hands to distract herself, she began picking at the hole in her shorts.
“I know you might not want to talk about it, but talking about it is the first step to overcoming it and I can help you with both,” Justine said.
There was another stretch of silence and in that time, Justine refilled their cups with more raspberry tea.
“I think from what I’ve heard, the previous sheriff wasn’t a very nice man. Would that be a fair statement?” Justine asked. Rebelle sucked in another breath and looked Justine in the eye, seeing kindness reflected back at her. “You’re safe here, with me, someone who cares about you. I’m your friend, Rebelle, and I want to help.”
Stale bitterness rose in Rebelle’s throat. Everyone wanted to help now the situation was taken care of but where were they before? She swallowed that bitterness down like she did each time, trying not to focus on the way she felt the town had failed her. She knew Justine cared, she wouldn’t give her valuable time away for free if she didn’t.
“He hurt me,” Rebelle replied, softly.
“How did he hurt you?”
She picked at a ragged nail bed. “With words, sliced me open with each cruel insult or curse. With his fists, his belt, his cigarettes, sometimes anything he could get his hands on.”
Justine’s warm skin paled slightly as Rebelle spoke. This is what she’d been afraid of, the pity that the truth brings. But Rebelle had started, had opened the dam and now she couldn’t stop.
“He cut off all my communication with friends and family. If I spoke to strangers, he accused me of flirting and raped me as punishment. He would shut me in the bedroom all day, locking the door and not letting me out to eat or drink or go to the bathroom. Sometimes he’d leave me in there for twenty hours or more, I couldn’t always hold it. When he would let me out and see I hadn’t been able to hold it, he’d punish me, tell me I was disgusting. So I guess yeah, you could say he wasn’t a nice man.” Sickness churned Rebelle’s stomach at rehashing some of the worst moments.
Justine swallowed loudly. “Rebelle, I’m so sorry. Can I give you a hug, please?”
Justine’s words tugged at her chest and Rebelle looked up to see tears filling her eyes. She appreciated that Justine had asked but she still had issues being touched.
“I appreciate that but I’m not great with touch yet.”
“I understand and I want to respect your boundaries. I also want to wrap you in my arms and take you away from here.”
Rebelle chuckled softly at the image that represented. She saw Justine cradle her swollen stomach and Rebelle knew she would be an amazing mom.
“Dios mio, I’m glad thatpendejois dead!” Justine spat before slapping a hand over her mouth, her horrified gaze lifting to Rebelle’s.
“It’s fine, I am too.”
Justine shook her head. “Thank you for sharing that with me, it must have been incredibly painful, but I feel like now we can work on helping you.”
Rebelle worried at her lip. “And you won’t tell anyone?”
“Not Blake, not Christy or your new boss Taylor.”
“Not that Will guy?” Rebelle didn’t know why she said that.
Justine’s dark brow furrowed. “Will? No, of course not. This stays between us.”
Rebelle’s cheeks grew warm under Justine’s scrutiny. She didn’t know why she cared about Will, maybe she still felt guilty after calling Blake on him.
“So, is there a reason as to why you want to work on your fearsnow?” Justine asked.
Because I don’t ever again want to be afraid of a man like I was yesterday.“Now I’m working at the bar, I’ll be around men a lot. And if I got a, uh, male volunteer at the shelter it would be nice to not be afraid of them.”
