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“Someone who wants a family…”
“Now you’re singing my song,” he groaned softly, shifting slightly.
His hold on her was different, as she suddenly felt his hand brush against the skin of her cleavage as he plucked at one of the laces on the front of her bodice, causing her eyes to widen in surprise. He gave a slight tug – and she pulled back, hesitating… only to see the confusion in his gaze.
“I want a future, Will,” she began, hesitating, and stood there feeling bare despite the layers of clothing on her. “I want someone that wants to be with me, not just likethat… but here,” she said, touching her breastbone. “I don’t want to be convenient and…”
“You aren’t,” he countered.
“I’m not looking for a romp in some bunk,” she hesitated, feeling tears sting her eyes. “I like you so much, but we both have obligations, and it’s going to take time to figure this out.”
“I don’t get it,” he said suddenly,looking slightly frustrated yet still confused. “You want more – and I’m interested. You want a future and a family? I’m very much ready for both… but then you say you don’t want to be convenient – and now I’m lost.”
“What if this isn’t real?” she began openly. “This whole week has felt surreal, imaginary, and a sham with all the costumes, the play acting, and such. What if this is a part of it? Do you do this on every cruise? I mean, I don’t want to be just another…”
“You need to trust people when they are reaching for you,” Will said swiftly, his voice tight with pain. “I’m offering everything, and you are focused on being so afraid of getting hurt, that you are taking something beautiful… and… and,” he hesitated. “Is it because of my scars? Because I’m not some handsome young man that is falling at your feet?”
“What?” she gasped, her heart breaking in two that he even said that aloud. “Will, no…”
“Then what is it, Calista? I’m right here, reaching for you, and…” he swallowed his words and nodded, his beautiful face shuttering behind a mask she could practically see descending. “I think perhaps you should go.”
“Because I wasn’t going to sleep with you?” she asked tearfully, lashing out. “You’re done with me, because I’m not an easy lay?”
He let out a bitter sigh and didn’t look at her for several minutes, but when he did – there was no hiding it. He was beyond hurt, and it was there in his eyes.
“I didn’t need you to sleep with me,” he said softly. “I needed you to put your faith in me, that I could be the guy for you if given half a chance, and would be whatever you needed.”
She drew in a ragged breath, almost as if slapped.
“You need time still – and I need to keep from being hurt once again by something that would scar more than my face.”
“Will…”
“I’ll walk you to your room,” he said simply. “Get some rest and maybe we can talk again, alone, before you leave.”
“Will,” she breathed tearfully. “I know what I want, I’m just scared.”
“I know you are – and that’s why you need some time,” he replied, opening the door to his cabin pointedly.
Calista didn’t have to be told twice to ‘get out’, and recognized that she didn’t want to cry in front of him, nor beg him to be near her. No, she wanted someone to want her… and perhaps Will was right. If she was scared, maybe it wasn’t time yet.
He grabbed her arm as she walked past him without another word – and didn’t turn to look at him. She was afraid that her heart would shatter, or she might say something else to ruin whatever this was.
Maybe thiswasjust a romp on the high seas like in the romance novels…?
Or perhaps this was the beginning of an adventure of a lifetime?
Either way, she glimpsed at a future with him – and was trying desperately to arrange the puzzle pieces in her analytical mind. The idea of a family was a faint fog in the distance. She craved the fantasy of Christmases together… and couldn’t figure out how to manage any of it if he was on the ocean and she was at her home on land.
Two ships passing in the night – almost literally.
“Calista,” he said softly, his voice quiet like a whisper as he held her arm. “I’m not rejecting you,” he began, and she swallowed painfully. “I want you to never regret settling fora scarred man that has nothing to offer but himself. I’m here if you choose me, trust me to be the one for you, and want to give you a chance to back out if this is too much, too soon.”
She remained deathly still, unsure what to say, and felt his eyes on her.
“You had a beautiful marriage,” he whispered. “I haven’t – and I want you to be happy. I’m nervous too, but I do know that sometimes you win a battle by retreating and regrouping… and I want to win your heart. Let me give you time, give us both time, and we can talk again when you are ready.”
She nodded tersely, unable to speak, and would not look at him. A tear streaked down her cheek as she stood there stoically, before she heard his softly spoken curse as he released her arm finally.
