AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She might have a point. This leave of absence is meant to relieve my stress, not increase it.
“Alright.” I lift my hands in resigned acceptance before resting them back on my sleek desk covered with dozens of files filled with product ideas and evaluation data. “I trust you. I’ll stop asking.”
Her relief is evident. “Thank you, Mr. Lawson.”
I refrain from insisting she call me Derek. Shirley is twenty years older than me with two kids close to my age, but she insists on maintaining a professional distance between us by addressing me by my last name.
In the two years since I started Source Solutions, Shirley has become an absolute asset to me. I’d hired the recently divorced woman over six other qualified candidates, mostly because she was so different from the aspiring actresses-slash-daytime receptionists that populated LA. I admired her tenacity and the fact she was returning to the workforce after being a stay-at-home mom for so many years. My own mom worked while I was growing up, but she and Dad arranged their schedules so one of them was always home with me and my older sisters. We were lucky to have them around.
Shirley was an easy hire after learning about her previous work experience as an executive assistant at a law firm, and I was happy when she decided to take advantage of Source Solutions’ pilot continuing education program. She’s currently working on earning a degree in project management. When she finishes, I already have a job lined up for her in the company. Though, I’ll be sad to see her move on. I doubt I’ll be able to find an assistant as good as her again.
Shirley returns to her desk located just outside my office to field incoming calls, and I resume the task of organizing my desk before I leave for five weeks.
I don’t want to take so much time off. The thought of being away from the company for so long is anxiety-inducing, but that’s part of my problem. At least, that’s what my therapist says.
It’s funny. I’m the son of psychologists who emphasized the importance of mental health my entire life, but it was still hard for me to seek out help following the absolute shit-show that was my former business partner and best friend’s crimes and betrayal. Not to mention his untimely death. But after a monthof night terrors resulting in little to no sleep, I knew I needed help.
I’ve been seeing Dr. Cho for over two years now, and while the night terrors have stopped, my debilitating anxiety over the continued success of my company hasn’t. After months of consistent prompting, Dr. Cho finally managed to persuade me that I needed a mental reset. One that can only come from taking a step back from my duties as CEO of Source Solutions if only for a short time.
Logically, I understand the merits of a break, but it’s hard to walk away from something I worked so hard to create. Source Solutions’ success is somewhat due to luck, but mostly due to consistent hard work and a never-ending drive to constantly improve the services we can offer customers.
Before Kyle’s death, he and I split a lot of the time-consuming tasks and grunt work that made our company take off. But since I’ve been on my own, I’ve taken it all on myself. I don’t trust anyone else to do it. For a time, I feared the company would fold from the repercussions of Kyle’s betrayal and the resulting scandal.
But we didn’t.
Source Solutions is thriving. And while Dr. Cho assures me the continued success of the company no longer rests solely on my shoulders, it still feels that way.
Which is why stepping back is so important. He’s confident that when I return from the break and see the company still standing, I will finally be able to have a healthy relationship with my work. I’ll still work long hours, but my motivation won’t be driven by a debilitating fear of failure but rather by love for the company I created and my desire to see it thrive.
I hope he’s right. At this rate, I’m on track for a heart attack by the time I’m forty. Something’s got to change.
My cell phone vibrates on my desk, pulling me from my thoughts. I hit accept and put it on speakerphone. “Hello?” I resume tucking files into the cabinet behind me.
“Hello, honey,” Mom’s voice travels through the speaker. “What are you doing?”
“Just finishing up organizing my office before I leave for the airport.” My suitcase sits next to my office door, ready to be rolled down to the car I hired to take me to LAX the moment I’m ready.
I thought about staying in LA during my break, but Dr. Cho and I agreed it would be too tempting to check on things at work if I stayed in the city. So I’ll be heading back to my hometown of Ann Arbor, Michigan for my therapist-prescribed leave of absence.
It works out that my parents are also going on a well-deserved, month-long vacation to Spain. I’ll get the house to myself while I work through my inner demons.
“Good. I was worried you changed your mind about watching the house and checking on your Grandmom.”
“No, I haven’t,” I try not to feel offended that she’d think I’d do something so shitty. “My flight leaves at one-thirty.”
“You didn’t take Adam up on his offer to use his jet?” She mentions my oldest sister’s husband, Adam Moreno. The Spanish billionaire married Avery a year and a half ago, and he’s also the main investor in Source Solutions. Without his support, I don’t know when or if Kyle and I would’ve been able to start the company. At least not at such a young age.
“No, I didn’t.” I owe Adam enough without also taking advantage of the perks his immense wealth affords. Besides, Dr. Cho suggested I forgo paying for a first-class ticket. Something about going back to my roots. I don’t see how enduring a flight with limited elbow room will help me feel grounded, but I’ll trust the professional to know what he’s talking about.
“Oh.” Mom pauses. “Well, Uncle Derek and Aunt Chloe will be coming over for dinner tonight. I hope you don’t mind.”
“Why would I mind?”
“I just didn’t know if you’d be tired, that’s all.”
“Well, I don’t mind.”
“Good. They’re excited to see you. So is Olivia.”
